AboutTerrie Expertise Hello, I am an adoptive mom, past foster parent, I also work with a support group for potential and current birth and adoptive parents. I am also very knowledgable about Open and Private adoption. As well as using a lawyer, counseling, Homestudies, Also Legal Guardianship.
Experience I am an adoptive mom, on online community leader, as well as I am the founder of an Support group for adoption, We help potential birth and adoptive parent's. Find answer's to their need. I also can refer them to appropriate resources.
Organizations United thru Adoption,Online community Leader on adoption concerning Open Adoption and Adopting an Older child.
Expert: Terrie Date: 4/4/2008 Subject: Is this normal......
Question My 19 year old adoptive son (he is our only child) would like to "see" his birth mother and I have always said that I would be supportive in helping him find her. However, since he has brought this issue up again, I am back peddling. Is this normal? How do I over come the issue of this "other mom" stigma? I want him to know the answers to the questions he has for her, but the flip side to that is I want him to realize the we are still here for any and all support as his "family". I realize this sounds selfish and I am ashamed of myself for having these feelings. There are not too many people that my husband and I know that are having this same type of issues. So I just want to know, 1-am I late in dealing with these issues, 2-are these normal feelings, 3-should I seek counseling to sort through these feelings and concerns?
I found your web site while trying to find out more information regarding "adoptive mother" issues. So I am asking for your thoughts, support, etc. regarding these issues that are going on in my head and heart.
Thanks, CJ
Answer C.J. It is very normal for you your sons mom to have these feelings it is also normal for him to wonder about his biological family. Its ok for you to be scared and concerned talk to your son. It is also possible that his birthmom may not wish to have contact. Anything is possible when doing a finding of birthparents situation. Just let him know your Love him support him and If he does meet her I think that meeting her yourselves to know what kind of person she is and to if possible thank her for the opportunity to raise your son. She made a great sacrifice to let you become parents as an adoptive Mom I know your feelings well. Take care let me know how things progess.
Terrie
