AboutAlice Allen, Rev (ULC) Expertise Adoption Reunion and Reconciliation - Why? Do I matter to you? Are you safe and well? To those reaching out, these are urgent questions. I offer search guidance, information about typical/atypical consequences of reunion, and counseling to all involved parties. Please 'View Profile' for more detail.
Experience I am an Universalist minister and counselor specializing in search, reunion, and reconciliation issues. I am founder of GrannysCupboard, an ULC ministry. As a function of our ministry, GrannysCupboard assists individuals searching for missing or estranged family and community members. Confidential information provided to GrannysCupboard is not shared without explicit permission. All costs associated with search service are paid by GrannysCupboard.
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In your question, DO include your sex, race, year and state of birth, and your relationship to the person being sought. Include the sex, race, and both the year and state of birth of the person being sought, when possible. Include information about recent whereabouts, occupations, and the approximate ages of relatives, when known.
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Question I am not sure if you can answer my question or not but its worth a try. I recently signed my parental rights over for my 4 children. I had them taken away because of a drug problem, which I have been sober for almost 2 years now. My daughters are adopted already so I'm sure I cant do anything about them. But my 2 boys are still in foster care with a different family than the girls. I was wondering if there is anything I can do to get my boys back. I was under alot of stress and my lawyer and social services kept telling me that I couldn't take care of my kids since I would be doing it by myself. I wasn't thinking clearly and just started to agree with them after them telling me that I couldn't do it for so long. If you could help me, that would be great. Thank you very much.
Answer Hello, Jennifer. I can fully appreciate the unhappy situation you are in. Thank you for writing.
As I am sure you know, the system is designed to protect and aid the children placed in its care. The needs and desires of the parents, natural and otherwise, are secondary.
In some states, the system works hard to reunite children with their natural families. In all states, there are limits to the amount of time the system can keep children in care without making a decision about their permanent placement.
If it were me in your situation, I would tell my attorney and social services that I needed my rights explained to me in a way I could understand and accept. I would tell them that I felt pressured into surrendering my rights and that I sincerely hoped it was not too late to re-evaluate the current plan for the children.
I do not want to give you false hope, Jennifer. If too much time has passed, if you will not ask for qualified legal help, if you are not ready to take care of yourself and your boys... as much as it would hurt, expect that it will be difficult to change the track this train travels.
This is a tough time for you. I hope you are taking care of yourself and that you have a support network in place. The emotional trauma you have been through and the difficult days ahead could wreck your health and well-being, you know?
Please seek support and counseling. Online resources are available. If you would like, I could point you in the right direction. Just send me a quick follow-up. I'll provide you with a short reading list of topics and resources related to your particular situation.
Do take care, Jennifer. I hope I've been some help. Thank you for your question.
