AboutPeter C. Winkler, CSW Expertise I have experience with adoption subsidy, the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and variety of other adoption related matters. I hope that I can be helpful to those who are considering adoption or would like to adopt a child.
Experience I am a social worker with an MSW and I have over thirty years of experience in family and children's services. I have worked as Director of adoption services and of the Interstate Compact in a large state agency. I have also provided direct services to children and families in a preventive services program. I currently prepare adoption studies for those who are adopting domestically or internationally.
Question QUESTION: my boyfriend sister has been having trouble with DHS and i want to know if his sister can give custody to us. my boyfriend is turning 20 as am i. do we need to get married to get custody ? are we under age ? can u please help. we don't want them taken away or given to there father because he is very violent.please we don't have much time.
ANSWER: Dear Toula,
Due to your ages, not being married and lack of parenting experience, I think it is unlikely that a judge would allow you to adopt these children. The adoption process also takes time and there are costs involved.
A better option might be for your and your boyfriend to explore whether there are other family members who can take the children. Before even doing that, you and your boyfriend should find out why DHS is giving the family "a hard time". I suspect that drugs or alcohol are part of the problem and if so, you and your boyfriend should get after the boys parents to straighten out their act.
As far as the boys father is concerned, you can report him to DHS as an abuser if you have direct knowledge of such behavior.
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QUESTION: Is there a chance of temporary custody if we get married ? Just until DHS finds there parents safe to have there children back ? i really don't want these children put in homes, they don't speak English and I'm the only other person other than family that the children trust. thank you
Answer Dear Toula-
Are there other family members who are older and who have experience in raising children, who could take these children? If so, they should approach DHS if the children go into care. Otherwise, you could approach DHS and find out whether you and your boyfriend qualify to be foster parents. If you are told no, find out why you don't qualify and see if you can take steps to become qualified.
If these children do go into foster care with non-relatives, your boyfriend could approach DHS and indicate that he is interested uncle and he wishes to have visits with the children. He should emphasize that the two of you have had prior contact with the children and it will be helpful if you remain in their lives.
