Expert: Peter C. Winkler, CSW - 1/26/2011

Question
About five years ago my neice was taken from her mother because of drud related issues.  She was placed in foster care and then was given to my mother and stepfather and they have custody of her.  
My husband and I along with my parents all agree that she would be better off with us because we are parents already and in child mood at our house.  Her mother has lost custody of another child and the child was adopted by another family.  My mom wants to keep custody of her, but we would be her guardians, but my husband and I want to adopt her.  Her mothers rights were not terminated and she has the right to come back and fight for her when she wants to.  I do not think that will ever happen but my mother thinks that the mother will try if we try to adopt her.  I dont no how to go about the process and really need to get some advice! Please help!

Answer
Dear Monica-
Based on the information that you provided, it seems to me that you should be in contact with staff of the agency that is supervising the placement of your niece.  Your mother and stepfather should have the name of the caseworker in that agency.  You and your husband should contact the caseworker and let her know that you are related to the child and you want to adopt her.  You and your husband will have to go through an adoption home study in which a casworker visits your home and prepares a report that indicates that you are qualified to be adoptive parents of the child.  Once you are approved, you should also speak with the child's mother and ask her to sign a document in which she voluntarily withdraws her parental rights.  That will make it easier to complete the adoption and it does not mean that the child's mother has to stop being in contact.  (As the adoptive parents you and your husband could limit or stop such visits in the event that you felt it was potentially harmful to the child.)
While there is no reason to believe that the caseworker will not cooperate, if she does not, I would advise that you contact other staff at the agency to request a meeting on the matter of adopting your niece.