Expert: Peter C. Winkler, CSW - 7/7/2011

Question
i have legal custody of my niece. she is 2 yrs old and has been with me since birth. her mother also lived with us for 18months until i threw her out. she has no interest in raising a child. the bio father disappeared when the baby was weeks old. we have not heard from him since.he does not support her financially either.my niece enlisted in the navy and i found out from my sister her mother that she signed up for 8 eight years. i told u there was no interest. i want to adopt my niece. what am i up against here.

Answer
Hi Ramona-
I'll do my best to describe "what you are up against" if you try to adopt your niece.  Please keep in mind that adoption laws vary from state to state and judges will also vary in exactly how they handle an adoption.  For that reason, I would strongly advise you to meet with a local lawyer who does adoption work to get a more accurate idea of what will be involved and the costs to you if you proceed.  
Everyone who adopts a child must go through an adoption home study.  That usually means that a social worker will visit your home and gather information on you (and on your husband, if you are married)and they will prepare a report that indicates whether they believe you are a suitable adoptive parent.
The more difficult hurdle in your case is for your niece to be legally free. It should not be difficult to get a judge to involuntarily sever the leagal parental rights of the father due to the circumstances that you described.  The parental rights of your niece's mother are another story.  The easiest way to handle this would be to convince the mother to voluntarily terminate her parental rights. The advantage to her is that she would no longer be responsible for the child's financial support and at the same time you could agree to allow her to visit her daughter in the future.  If the mother will not consent to voluntary termination, you could attempt involuntary termination which means that a judge would have to determine that there is a sound basis for terminating the mother's parental rights under your state law.  In such a case your legal expenses would be likely to increase because the whole matter would probably be drawn out.
I am sure that you care deeply about your niece, but if her mother won't do a voluntary termination, it might be best to wait things out.  In the meantime, it still would be a good idea to schedule that meeting with the lawyer.
By the way, if your niece's Mom is in the military, you could ask her for financial support since she would be eligible for an allotment. On the other hand, if the Mom does this, it might hurt your chances of having her rights terminated involuntarily.
Good luck!