AboutPeter C. Winkler, CSW Expertise I have experience with adoption subsidy, the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and variety of other adoption related matters. I hope that I can be helpful to those who are considering adoption or would like to adopt a child.
Experience I am a social worker with an MSW and I have over thirty years of experience in family and children's services. I have worked as Director of adoption services and of the Interstate Compact in a large state agency. I have also provided direct services to children and families in a preventive services program. I currently prepare adoption studies for those who are adopting domestically or internationally.
Question 7 years ago we adopted our daughter (now 8)from Romania. This school year seems to be the worse. She has never been great at school. In her preschool years she had many little friends and it has dwindled to the point I don't know if she really has any. Those she does seem to associate with seem to be the children who don't have many friends and have issues themselves. She does terrible in school academically. She is completely lost. It scares me. She has even become mean at times to other children. I know it is the worse thing I could say, but I'm sorry we ever went through with the adoption. The teacher mentioned ADD and I agree. I worry about what is ahead for her. She really has meant the world to us. We have two biological sons (12 and 15) who she drives crazy. I would think by age 8 she'd be growing up. I see other girls her age and Sarah seems so immature. I try to cook with her as she loves to do that and I really want to be close to her, but it seems like we are not as successful with that as I'd like. She acts like life and school is all for fun. Do you have any suggestions? Our school system is the pits. I feel like calling the State Board of Ed for help as our local schools don't even return your calls when you call them. I"m fed up with everyone!
Answer Hi Lisa-
Unfortunately, families do experience problems with adopted children and then they also often have to deal with assertions that they are the cause of the behavior.
The first thing that you should try to do is to consult with a social worker or psychologist who works with children. Your daughter might benefit from therapy and/or medication. It's best to look into things now.
You also might want to contact the agency you used to adopt your daughter to fill them in on the problems you're having. While I see it as a last resort, your agency might assist you in finding an alternate adoptive placement for your daughter. I sincerely hope she can get the help she needs before you consider that alternative.
