About Abi Expertise I can answer questions on the emotional side of being an adoptee and on searching for adopted persons & birth parents.
Experience I was adopted from birth myself, and have found my own birth parents (both in UK and Spain) having had very little information to go on. I have also had a lot of experience researching information for others.
Expert: Abi Date: 10/29/2004 Subject: Being Adopted
Question Hi Abi,
my question is, could you give me a brief summary as to what kind of destructive emotions or thoughts a young man who was adopted might go through when he struggles to deal with the idea that his biological parents didn't want him? Can you tell me how thoughts like these can affect that young man's life and how he can overcome this obstacle before it becomes too late? Thanks for your time.
Answer Hi,
an adoptee can feel feelings of abandonment and rejection which can crop up from time to time. The abandonment fear can manifest itslef in other life situations such as couple relations. Rejection fears may cause that person to avoid situations where they would have to trust someone a lot.
It may affect how he views the idea of having children of his own, and it may cause him to not to want to find or contact his biological parents if that were an option.
A person in this situation should endeavour to find the true circumstances of his adoption and why his parents had him adopted before coming to any conclusions. This way at least, he may have some understanding of why things were done and would learn the truth.
I hope this helps - please contact me again if there is anything else I can help with,
thanks, Abi
