AboutTerrie Expertise Hello, I am an adoptive mom, past foster parent, I also work with a support group for potential and current birth and adoptive parents. I am also very knowledgable about Open and Private adoption. As well as using a lawyer, counseling, Homestudies, Also Legal Guardianship.
Experience I am an adoptive mom, on online community leader, as well as I am the founder of an Support group for adoption, We help potential birth and adoptive parent's. Find answer's to their need. I also can refer them to appropriate resources.
Organizations United thru Adoption,Online community Leader on adoption concerning Open Adoption and Adopting an Older child.
Question This is kind of a strange question. I just found out that my sister, whom I thought was adopted, was never actually adopted by my parents. I think she is considered "permanent foster care." My sister is now 40 (I'm 42), and is now considering giving her unborn child up for adoption. But emotionally, it came out that my parents' decision not to adopt her has been very difficult emotionally for her. So I have three questions:
1) Can you give me some insight into the differences between permenant foster care and adoption, and what may have motivated my parents not to adopt? Isn't it basically a financial/support issue?
2) If they chose to, could my parents now adopt her, even though she is a self-supporting adult of 40? Emotionally, that might mean a lot to her.
3) Can you point me somewhere where I can gain some insight into the difficulties of adoption/foster care etc from the adopted child's perspective? I know I don't understand where she's coming from on this
Thanks,
Mike
Answer Mike, I use to be a foster mom. Back when your sister was placed in foster care they did not allow foster parents to adopt their foster children years ago it was not done. If the child was to be adopted it was always by someone else it does not make since and they have learned that of course being adopted by the people the child has lived with and bonded with was in the childs best interests, however I feel without knowing this situation that your parents probably would not have been allowed to adopt her as her foster parents they may have Had no choice but to permanetly remain her foster parents in order to have her be able to remain in their home. If they open to discussing this with her have her ask how things were handled when she was made adoptable. Now days they usually place kids with foster parents that will adopt if that is possible its called foster adopt, also without knowing your parents financial situation they may not have done subsidized adoptions which means that these days any ways foster parents can adopt the child because their is a bond between them and still receive a monthly payment to help with raising a child and they may also be able to get medical from the state until the child is grown. It is very possibl;e to adopt an adult the laws and procedures to differ depending on your state.
Also if your sister is serious about adoption My brother and his wife as well as my husband and myself would all love a little one to raise. My husband and I are older and have 4 other adopted children, My brother and sister in law have no children and are the sweetest couple you would ever meet. How far along in her pregnancy is she? And may I ask why she is considering adoption? Does she have other children? What state is she in? We are all in Nebraska.
I look forward to hearing back from you. Best wishes
Also I work as a volunteer adoption specialist we help with placing mostly special needs and older kids usually from foster care into permanent homes.
You or she may email me at Terrie37@aol.com
Best wishes. also have her at least considering parenting this child so that if she does place this child with others she will know in her heart that she did consider her options. Best of luck with your sister finding some peace with the situation surrounding her place in your family.
God bless all of you
Terrie mom to 4
