AboutColleen Expertise I can answer questions about the adoption process. I don't handle questions about searches for adoptive parents.
Experience I have three adopted children. The two youngest were adopted as infants. In both cases, we dealt with the birthmother during her pregnancy and a bit afterwards. Our children are now old enough to begin asking questions and we are dealing with those issues.
Expert: Colleen Date: 10/21/2007 Subject: Paternity rights
Question Hi. We are considering adopting the child of our friend's sister. She is young, does not want the child, in a bad situation generally. I have a question on paternity. As I understand there is no father listed on birth certificate. The man she says is the father is married with 2 kids and wants nothing to do with the kid. There is also another man, who she apparently told was the father, then said he wasn't. This man is calling the grandmother (where the child is currently staying most of the time). In order to adopt, do we need consent from either/both of these men? Do they have to establish paternity in order to block the adoption (ie, paternity test). If they establish paternity later on, can that man come back and challenge our right to our now adopted child in 5 years or something? Any advice on how to proceed (or course, we need an attorney, but since this is an open adoption between "friends" - we'd like to learn as much as possible before consulting attorney (and before finalizing any verbal agreement with birth mom, etc. based on our being able to know what some of the issues might be.
Answer Hi K:
This is a situation that you have to tred carefully with. As anxious as you may be to adopt this baby, you need to protect the rights of both yourself and the child. Yes, it is possible for the father to come forth at a later time and claim the child after he or she has been with adoptive parents for years. The courts have ruled in the past in favor of a father, even after several years have gone by. In order to avoid heartbreak for yourself and the baby, you need to make sure all is legal before you proceed.
Even if there is no name on the birth certificate, everyone is aware of the fact that someone fathered this baby. The best course of action for you is to make sure the paternity has been established (by legitmate, legal testing) and then get a signed release from the father. If the "married" could-be father doesn't want anything to do with it, you can have the court require him to submit to testing if she thinks there's the possibility that he may be the child's father. Everyone who may be the father should be tested and legal paternity established. That is the person you would need legal consent from.
Even though this may delay an adoption it would be much better in the long run to avoid problems that could be heart wrenching for all involved. And, yes, you would definitely need the services of an attorney to proceed from there.
