AboutColleen Expertise I can answer questions about the adoption process. I don't handle questions about searches for adoptive parents.
Experience I have three adopted children. The two youngest were adopted as infants. In both cases, we dealt with the birthmother during her pregnancy and a bit afterwards. Our children are now old enough to begin asking questions and we are dealing with those issues.
Expert: Colleen Date: 7/20/2006 Subject: How can I get bio. mother to open up?
Question I have spent exciting week traveling from Florida to New Hampshire; met OLDER cousins, etc.
I discovered name, address, phone, etc. of my biological mother about 7 years ago. Through mail I have TRIED to be nice, assuring I am not interested in money, establishing relationship, embarassing her or family. Her 2 sisters were willing to talk and changed minds on next day (probably after their sister put the clamps on). I know NOTHING about my father and after my 78 yr. old mother is gone, I have lost it ALL.
What CAN or SHOULD I do at this point. I am getting desperate and don't WANT to turn niceness to anything else?
THANKS!
Blair L. Spencer
Answer It sounds like your birth mother just doesn't want to speak with you at this time. Your finding her may have been a shock that she needs to come to grips with. Give her some time, and maybe contact her again in a few months. If she still resists speaking with you, I would suggest you let her know where you are if she wants to contact you. You can't force someone to acknowledge you. It may console you to know that your experience is not totally unusual among birth mother/child contacts.
