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Adoption Issues/Questions Answered by Expert Alice Allen, Rev (ULC)
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Sister will not share details | 2/28/2012 |
| Q: A baby boy was born in my family 1974 or 1975 in Cook County, Illinois, and the mother (my ... A: Dawn, your sister may be sharing as much as she believes she can share. Things are a bit different ... | |
| Social Services, false allegations | 2/20/2012 |
| Q: 2001 I had my first daughter at 20 years old. 2002 at 22 my mother found a loop hole in Oregon. I ... A: Michelle, as you have learned, "social services" are very powerful state sanctioned agencies. Judges ... | |
| A problem with my adoptive parents caused by me | 8/23/2011 |
| Q: I am a newbie here . If it is not the right place for my question, please feel free to ignore it. ... A: George, infant adoption is very often a messy business that thrives on deceptions and falsehoods. As ... | |
| Telling someone you are their half brother | 8/16/2011 |
| Q: I am face book friends with someone who is my half sister and she doesn't know. My birth mother ... A: Jeff, adoption has denied you normal relationships with your natural family members. Your natural ... | |
| My son's missing history | 2/7/2011 |
| Q: I recently found my long lost son who was in the Children and Youth System for over 14 yrs and now ... A: Josette, I am not qualified to help. I am happy to provide some direction to resources. Thank you ... | |
| Father's consent to adoption | 1/24/2011 |
| Q: can a person be adopted without permission from the biological father? A: Sheila, no, in a word, unless his parental rights were terminated by the courts. Legal adoption ... | |
| Relative Placement | 1/21/2011 |
| Q: 5 years ago my niece and nephew were taken from their birth parents and my husband and I were ... A: Jenifer, there are resources available to you (and to the parents of these children). Thank you for ... | |
| Should I contact my birth father? | 10/21/2010 |
| Q: I was given up for adoption as an infant almost 51 years ago. At the culmination of a search to ... A: Sara, there are several ways to approach the search for information about your origins. Your way is ... | |
| Should I contact my birth father? | 10/19/2010 |
| Q: I was given up for adoption as an infant almost 51 years ago. At the culmination of a search to ... A: Sara, in a word, yes. Please do make contact with the person you believe to be your father (birth ... | |
| Search for relatives | 10/1/2010 |
| Q: MY MOTHER WAS BORN & ADOPTED IN 1956.HOW CAN I FIND BLOOD RELITIVES? MENTAL ILLNESS IS AN ISSUE IN ... A: Mark, your rights are determined by state law. In many states, siblings and children do have rights. ... | |
| Search for relatives | 9/26/2010 |
| Q: MY MOTHER WAS BORN & ADOPTED IN 1956.HOW CAN I FIND BLOOD RELITIVES? MENTAL ILLNESS IS AN ISSUE IN ... A: Mark, certainly you want to know more. There are answers out there and I am happy to help you find ... | |
| My Identity - International | 7/26/2010 |
| Q: Last night I found out that I have been adopted. I accidentally found a print of the form ... A: Babak, it must have been quite a shock to learn of your adoption in this way. I am sure you will ... | |
| find my brother | 7/18/2010 |
| Q: I KNOW WHEN MY BROTHER WAS BORN AND WHERE, BUT DON'T KNOW ADOPTION NAME ANY SUGESTIONS PLEASE. A: Carol, there is help available. Please check out this link to AfterAdoption, an UK-based ... | |
| What are my rights as a father? | 7/10/2010 |
| Q: I just recently found out i have a 22 month old daughter who was given up for adoption. What are my ... A: Lou, a father's rights to his child are usually the same as a mother's rights. They are determined ... | |
| mexican adoption | 5/26/2010 |
| Q: I was born in Mexico City in October 1978. My A-parents took me back to California shortly after my ... A: Daniel, please check first with the agency or attorney involved with your adoption. And, I would ... | |
| He has an online profile | 5/11/2010 |
| Q: and her rights were taken away. i was not aware of this when it happen, but I've recently found my ... A: Tineille, approaching your nephew could be as simple as sending a message via MySpace - or not. You ... | |
| Finding real birth parents - UK | 5/4/2010 |
| Q: im 17 and living in the UK and have never really known much about the adoption as it's been a kind ... A: Sonia, your need for answers is understandable. Things will come together faster and have a better ... | |
| orig birth certificate | 5/3/2010 |
| Q: and for any advice/direction you can offer. As an adoptee, I'd like to obtain an original birth ... A: Here you go, Alicia. These are a couple of the national organizations. They seek to change state ... | |
| orig birth certificate | 4/30/2010 |
| Q: and for any advice/direction you can offer. As an adoptee, I'd like to obtain an original birth ... A: Alicia, as an adoptee you have already learned that it can seem impossible to get access to your own ... | |
| adoption never finalized | 2/26/2010 |
| Q: I was born in california 1964 and "adopted" right away. I just found out that I was adopted and that ... A: Jan, this "news" of your adoption is Big news to you, I am sure. And, yes, it is possible that your ... | |
| spouse of birth father on roller coaster ride | 1/4/2010 |
| Q: There does not seem to be any books or information pertaining to spouses of birthfathers. My ... A: Sue, in addition to the questions you've raised: "What does this person want? Are we (spouse, ... | |
| strange situation | 12/21/2009 |
| Q: About 6 years ago I was going through a hard time in my life. I had 3 little girls and ended up ... A: Candace, I am sure you are both confused and excited about the possibility of having your middle ... | |
| Biological Grandparent Rights | 11/28/2009 |
| Q: My son has a child that has been adopted. (The adoption agency did not perform a paternity ... A: Juanita, your rights as a grandparent are determined by federal and state law. Adoption further ... | |
| Access to original birth certificate | 11/22/2009 |
| Q: My father found out that he was adopted after joining the US Navy during the Korean War. His ... A: Ron, adoption records in the US are usually sealed without expiry. They are not generally accessible ... | |
| should o meet my biological family | 10/13/2009 |
| Q: I was adopted but my grandparents when i was born, my mother was only 13 and my biological father ... A: Greetings, Melissa. I do not give legal advice and my knowledge of Chinese culture is limited, ... | |
| emotional | 9/29/2009 |
| Q: I wonder if anybody can relate to how I feel. I was adopted in 1967 to an elderly couple, they were ... A: Mairead, to adoptees and to their natural parents (birth parents) adoption is loss. It is traumatic. ... | |
| i want to know my birth mother | 9/22/2009 |
| Q: i never seen her i want to find out if i have any sisters or brothers and who my birth father is ... A: Osteen, it is only natural that you would have questions and want answers. I am happy to help. Thank ... | |
| finding literature about adoption | 8/23/2009 |
| Q: My family just recently found my older brother who was placed up for adoption. Us kids actually ... A: Katherine, congratulations on your reunion! This is an exciting time for all of you. Your gift of ... | |
| helpme find my birth mother in mexico ... | 6/28/2009 |
| Q: well i was raised by my parents who took me in. But the twist of my story is this is not your normal ... A: Greetings, Olivia. You are correct. Yours is not a "normal" adoption story. You are adopted, though ... | |
| Adoption Papers | 6/13/2009 |
| Q: I am trying to look for my birth mother or father. I was born in Rockford, IL and I now live in Des ... A: Anthony, congratulations on your decision to search for your birth parents. I am happy to help. ... | |
| Wife of Adoptee's Birth Father | 6/8/2009 |
| Q: I and my husband have been married for 20 years. It is a 2nd marriage for both of us and we have ... A: Sylvia, I want to reassure you. Your reaction to all this upset is normal. In fact, the upset of ... | |
| Looking for birth daughter born 05/15/82 | 6/4/2009 |
| Q: I am registered with adoption.com which seems to be the most comprehensive site out there. Are there ... A: Pamela. Registering with popular adoption reunion sites is a good idea, if you are mindful of the ... | |
| Birth Father Ignoring Contact Request | 5/7/2009 |
| Q: I am in my mid-thirties and recently found my birthmother. Our reunion was wonderful and we are ... A: Angela, congratulations on your reunion with your mother. I am happy to share my insights and ... | |
| lookin for 1/2 brother | 5/3/2009 |
| Q: I am desperately searching for my 1/2 brother that was born in 1969 and was adopted out right after ... A: Kellie. With a little information and some detective work almost anyone can be located. Thank you ... | |
| Adopted Child has no Interest in Origins. | 4/27/2009 |
| Q: A couple - with whom I am close friends - adopted an Asian girl years ago. That girl has done ... A: Jade. Some adoptees never express an interest in their heritage. Most do, and will eventually seek ... | |
| adoptee issues | 4/20/2009 |
| Q: I was adopted in 1971, I am 37 years old now. Three years ago I searched for my biological mother to ... A: Adrianne, your experience and your concerns are not at all unusual. And yes, counseling and support ... | |
| Search for Birth Family | 3/23/2009 |
| Q: I was born and adopted in 1978 in Salt Lake City, UT. I am ready to find my birth family, and have ... A: Gina, congratulations on your decision to search for your birth family. I am sure this is an ... | |
| Finding heritage | 1/9/2009 |
| Q: I'm 76 now. In the mid '70s, both of my parents died and, while reviewing some of the papers they ... A: Tom, I am quite sure you are ready for some answers. I am glad to help. Thank you for writing. ... | |
| how do i find my biological father in mexico as i live in california. | 12/8/2008 |
| Q: how do i find my biological father in mexico as i live in california. my mother says she has no ... A: Claudia, your situation is not typical to my experience, however I do want to help where I can. ... | |
| Should 12yr old son meet biological father/ | 11/22/2008 |
| Q: From day one my son has been raised by his adoptive father and his biological mother. He is now ... A: Melissa, you are right. Children need responsible adult influences in their lives. Thank you for ... | |
| adoption | 5/27/2008 |
| Q: Just found out I may be the father of a boy born two weeks ago . The mom put him up for adoption. I ... A: Time may be of essence here, if you hope to preserve your parental rights. Thank you for writing. ... | |
| Birthparent reunion | 4/23/2008 |
| Q: I adopted my 9yr old at birth through an open adoption agency.He now knows he has a full blooded ... A: Usually, I am inclined to support the plans made by the agency and adoptive family (yourself and ... | |
| parental rights | 4/7/2008 |
| Q: I am not sure if you can answer my question or not but its worth a try. I recently signed my ... A: Jennifer. I can fully appreciate the unhappy situation you are in. Thank you for writing. As I am ... | |
| i am seventeen and brother is 15 | 3/4/2008 |
| Q: he lives with me at the time. i need to know can any one take him away from me and can i get custody ... A: You are in a difficult situation. I am so sorry things are not easier for you and your brother. ... | |
| interesting situation | 2/5/2008 |
| Q: My birthmom and I share a good friendship, since our reunion. I am also in occasional contact with ... A: Donja. Yes, yours is an interesting situation. Thank you for writing. As it seems important to your ... | |
| stepchilden that were put up for adoption | 1/21/2008 |
| Q: I'm in kind of an odd situation see my husband's ex wife put their children up for adoption a number ... A: Sara. Thank you for writing. Can you look for them? Yes, and it depends. Are the adopted children ... | |
| My brother. | 11/18/2007 |
| Q: My name is Ally. I'm 16. My mom had my brother 2 years before i was born, he's 18. He has a ... A: Ally! I am glad to provide some general direction. Lots of adult adoptees post their searches for ... | |
| name change | 10/19/2007 |
| Q: I find myself in a quandary with no apparent help from my stat, by that I mean no real answers from ... A: Justin, I may not be in the best possible position to answer your question, however I thoroughly ... | |
| Getting to know biological family | 6/30/2007 |
| Q: I am 46, I found by bioogical brother/family (both parents are deceased) I have met my brother,we ... A: Dawne, here are several things you may find helpful. Articles at Adoption.com, especially: Adoptees ... | |
| Getting to know biological family | 6/29/2007 |
| Q: I am 46, I found by bioogical brother/family (both parents are deceased) I have met my brother,we ... A: Dawne, thank you for writing. Adoption reunion, as you now know, can be full of emotional ... | |
| need information on finding brother adopted in 1960 | 6/15/2007 |
| Q: my mothers first born was a boy whom we have never met. we know who adopted him and his birth ... A: Valerie, thank you for writing. Yes, one of my favorite resources for those searching for siblings ... | |
| Birth certificate | 6/9/2007 |
| Q: I was born under the name Perkins. My mother met a man when I was 2 yrs old. They married and my ... A: Karen, please contact Florida's Department of Health for your birth certificate. The url and phone ... | |
| Birth certificate | 6/7/2007 |
| Q: I was born under the name Perkins. My mother met a man when I was 2 yrs old. They married and my ... A: Karen, thank you for writing. Yes, as I understand it, a certified copy of your "official" birth ... | |
| I'm a Birth Father's wife | 5/17/2007 |
| Q: Married 18 years, my husbands 26 year old birth daughter surfaces 6 days ago. Of course he is ... A: Start Here, Shellie: Before You Enter Into an Adoption Reunion for Birth Parents ... | |
| I'm a Birth Father's wife | 5/16/2007 |
| Q: Married 18 years, my husbands 26 year old birth daughter surfaces 6 days ago. Of course he is ... A: Shellie, I want to reassure you. Your reaction to all this upset is normal. In fact, the upset is ... | |
Adoption Issues
Answers by Expert:
Alice Allen, Rev (ULC)
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
Adoption Reunion and Reconciliation - "Do I matter to you?" - To adopted persons and their families, it is an especially important question. I offer search and support guidance, information about typical/atypical consequences of reunion, and counseling to all involved parties. Please 'View Profile' for more detail.
Experience
I am an Universalist minister and counselor specializing in search, reunion, and reconciliation issues. I am founder of GrannysCupboard, an ULC ministry. As a function of our ministry, GrannysCupboard assists individuals searching for missing or estranged family and community members. Confidential information provided to GrannysCupboard is not shared without explicit permission. All costs associated with search service are paid by GrannysCupboard.
Education/Credentials
see above
Please note: Details that you provide in your questions to me may be posted to the AllExperts site. This means that your personal information could be displayed for the world to see. If this concerns you, please adhere to the following guidelines when communicating with me through allexperts.com
GUIDELINES: Keep questions general in nature, while giving enough information to explain the situation. GrannysCupboard cautions against sharing personally identifying information in public arenas such as AllExperts.
[Personally identifying information includes, for instance: dates of birth,
social security numbers, drivers license and registration numbers, full names
(past and present), education and/or employment histories, financial data,
account ids and passwords, home and business addresses (past and present),
telephone numbers, and photographs.
Providing this type of information about yourself, your family, or your friends can lead to misuse by persons with less-than-honorable intentions. There are times when GrannysCupboard may want more information in order to provide high quality service. In these cases, we will arrange for the transfer of that information privately. ~ Granny]
Providing this type of information about yourself, your family, or your friends can lead to misuse by persons with less-than-honorable intentions. There are times when GrannysCupboard may want more information in order to provide high quality service. In these cases, we will arrange for the transfer of that information privately. ~ Granny]
If your question is search related, please DO submit your question privately. We will follow up with a request for details. It is a matter of safety.
Providing an accurate answer to your question requires only the limited information called for in these guidelines. Please do not put yourself or your loved ones at risk by sharing personally identifying information in public arenas. Thank you.
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