Expert: christina Cicchelli - 9/1/2009

Question
I would perform scenes with pro dominatrix's... I don't mind getting spank or scream, I mean I’m a fighter sweating, pain, getting screamed, insulted and command by a person (in this case my trainer)
Is all ready my pleasure and work ahh LOl.  
What doe it means wend they say the “save word” or “password”??
I never being wit a pro dominatrix's but  wit a friend how enjoy “rough sex” I can tell she in to it because of the rubber outfit  and the way she talks during the play. But I don’t know if she is one because   a dominatrix is a dominant woman right?.. my friend gets crazy like all sexual and “SHE” wants to get dominated by “me” o su “chamo” like getting slap and pulling her mouths,  or hair she talks in dirty language ect ,ect.. I don't know if she is or she is other type of dominatrix..

But I have some thought on that.
Is dominatrix “only” about being control and torture Or is their sex involved?.
What i don't enjoy is cutting, eating "playing" wit blood, excrement, vomit fetishes ... or sex wit animal (well it depends if it’s a  lady and  as team me and the animal lol.... LOL Do i have problems?? Is it normal to be a to sexual ambitious?? lol.

are they other holding ejaculation exercise ?? what els you do or male have tell you that they do to hold that pressure?? do they think of something or what they do??
i mean i have being doing what you told me about masturbation and stop wend im about to ejaculate and i have seen the differences But is their something more strong??
how long does a film last ?? christina do hay have to be like a perfect, Pro actor some one like Brat Pit, Samuel jackson or Jessica alba??.

(LOL well...I gut the idea of porn star the day in the polices station.
But seriously is because hay Enjoy Modeling and Acting.
Sexual modeling (Hay 2 do non nude picture 2), but personally enjoy MORE posting naked.
I enjoy Photographing and writing as well.)

your videos are  amazing, you acting is great 2 =).


Answer
Hey Javier,

Thank you so much for the comments! I'm glad you enjoyed my films.

As a professional dominatrix, I can tell you from my own experience that while being dominated by someone like me is sort of like having your own personal trainer, there are some very distinct differences:

1) A personal trainer treats you harshly so you can focus on building your own skills and strengths as a fighter. I would treat you harshly for my own personal benefit and pleasure.
2) As my submissive, you literally "submit" to me - which means that you will be forced to do a number of things that may make you feel uncomfortable. In fact, it's in my own personal interest to expose you to uncomfortable treatment in order to "break you" - which is to say that you feel powerless and are easily under my control.

Your friend is into BDSM - which is a fetish that focuses on power-play (domination and submission) and physical, emotional, and mental aspects of power-play. "Rough sex" has nothing to do with BDSM; it is just a style of sexual activity. However, your friend does sound like a submissive, since SHE wants YOU to dominate her.

That said, your experience with your friend is unlike the experience you might have with a professional dominatrix. As mentioned before you are at the whim and mercy of your Domme; if you disobey her, then she punishes you.

The punishment can be anything from spankings to verbal torture to physical torture (ball-kicking, busting, etc). AGAIN, THIS IS UNLIKE BEING A PRO FIGHTER IN THE PROFESSIONAL SENSE. Just because you can handle being kicked and punched and yelled at doesn't necessarily mean you will enjoy fetish sessions with a professional dominatrix.

Why? Because submissives ENJOY being punished and tortured by a professional dominatrix. They receive sexual gratification from being a slave, worshipping his/her mistress, and serving her/his mistress however they can. Submissives (or subs) enjoy feeling powerless, want to surrender their reason and logic to someone else, and need someone to dominate them.

Sex is sometimes involved; however, sex isn't the most important part of BDSM. Most fetishes have nothing to do with sex itself; however, we receive pleasure and feel sexually gratified from participating in BDSM or any other fetish.

If this makes sense to you, then you're beginning to understand how fetish films may work and the type of people who watch them.

Again, the sex is great but what's most important in fetish is the FETISH itself.

I would check out kink.com to get a better idea of what to expect as a male sub. It features a lengthy selection of websites that are specifically dedicated to BDSM. meninpain.com would be the one to look at in particular, since it exclusively features professional dominatrixes and their male slaves.

Again, there are all sorts of BDSM films, each of which is unique in its own way. Some show sensual submission and domination; others are all about pain and torture. Since you know what sort of domination you're NOT into, then you can begin to determine what type of movies you can perform in.... Expressing your boundaries is important and, in fact, gives you control in any scene. One way of expressing your boundaries is by using a safe word. Safe words are established before a scene. They are phrases or words that are completely unrelated to BDSM ("No" for example is not a proper safe word, since it's conducive to your role as a submissive) and uttered when a sub feels as though the direction his or her dominatrix is taking is out of your boundaries. You can use words like "Spaghetti", "Tuna", or "Arkansas" to let your domme know that you are not enjoying the scene.

Before doing any of this, if you're interested in starring in fetish movies, you should visit a pro-dominatrix and spend a session with her. Ask her questions and figure out what it means to be a submissive and a dominant. Who knows? Maybe you're better fit to be a Master than a sub!

AND NO, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! You are a sexual person and you want to explore your sexuality in a number of different ways. It's wonderful to see someone so enthusiastic on the matter; I just hope that you pursue your happiness in a healthy way and treat all you meet with love and kindness (even if BDSM and rough sex is involved!)

Everyone has a different approach when refraining from an orgasm. What works for you? I mentioned the kegel exerciser because it's one approach, but really you just need to try on your own. Everyone has a different technique. Just keep practicing. Next time you're having sex, try prolonging your ejaculation through fore-play. You may want to stop penetration and spend more time playing with your lover as another way to delay your ejaculation.

Ha! No, you do not have to be a thespian to be a porn actor. I don't know if you've seen some pornos already, but I can bet you that a large handful of those movies do not require their performers to recite lines or have acting experience. It really isn't too important.

Anyway, you seem to be on the right track. I'd also suggest reaching out to pornographers. You can tell them you're a new face who wants to star in movies. Be friendly and ask if you can watch a sex scene so you can see what the whole experience is like. That'll give you an idea of what to expect.

Til next time!

Christina