Expert: Chim Hedo - 11/22/2008

Question
Hello,
I'm 19 and my boyfriend of 1 year is 26. We are very much in love and have a great sex life. In the last few months, we have considered visiting a swingers club. From the website, the place seems nice and friendly, and has different events on every week.
My partner and I have discussed boundaries, and it seems that we are both happy with doing anything but having actual intercourse with other people. The idea really excites me, but what I worry about is that we might regret it afterwards. Maybe he or I will feel upset that the other enjoyed sex acts with someone else? Is our relationship likely to change after it? And is there a chance that we could become bored with each other in bed?

I think that we will probably go through with this, as we're both very exited about it. If we do go, what do I wear? The club says dress code is "smart, elegant or as sexy as you dare for women". So what do you suggest? Also, I suspect that we would be younger than most swinging couples... is that true by a longshot, and is it likely to cause any problems?
At one of these events, how exactly does group play come about? Is it like flirting jsut as in a normal club full of single people? (This event will be for couples and single females only).

Basically, it seems you're quite the expert. I'm excited, but also apprehensive about the whole thing, and would appreciate any advice and information you can give!

Thanks in advance,

Alanah

Answer
Hi Alanah  ( sexyyy name!!!)))
    You have done your homework and communicated, two of the biggest steps to entering the lifestyle.  
    You ask some very good questions.  Many couples in the lifestyle don't have intercourse with others.  This is considered soft swinging.  You have lots of foreplay, but end up with your own partner for human penetration.  If you are worried that you might be upset afterwards, but are both willing to try it, then you have to keep the lines of communication open not only before, but during and afterwards as well.  You are very young, can YOU handle the emotions that this may bring?  
    As far as dress, dress to impress.  Really anything sexy goes.  A tight, short see-thru dress is common on regular nights, most times without a bra, and don't forget that sexy thong!! Theme nights can get much wilder.  You will likely see others your age there, lets just hope they have your mental attitude too.  
    Group play normally takes place with games, or mixers, so you get to no other couples, and yes, it really is just like flirting at a normal club, accept this has "benefits", and you all no the reason you are flirting.  If you haven't already, check out www.nasca.com.  It's a good website for other resources and information.
    Good luck, have fun!!!!
Chim