About Chim Hedo Expertise Questions regarding the lifestyle between couples. How to get started, communication, establishing rules. Where to meet people. Feelings, and how to deal with them. Soft vs full swinging. Bi-sexual women in the lifestyle. Lifestyle vacations. Clubs, events and house parties. How to dress and not to dress. Introducing "Vanilla" friends.
Experience Female 15 years in the lifestyle. Married 27.
Publications Currently writing a book on the lifestyle.
Education/Credentials human sexuality
Awards and Honors Host couple at many large Canadian Events. Started Ontario's largest on-line lifestyle site. Host and MC for many Ontario clubs.
Question My wife and I are interested in swinging, either a threesome with another man or with another couple, maybe later getting involved in an orgy. It is my fantasy to have an orgy with her and watching other men penetrate her. It is her fantasy to have a threesome or with another couple and to be penetrated. We are interested in this because I am the only man that she has ever been with, but I have had sex with other women. We have explored eachothers sexuality completely and are looking for more. We are not trying to fix our relationship. We are not sure how to get started or what to expect. We were also wondering if there are any sites where we could watch videos of real swingers to learn what to expect. Also what should I talk to her about to see if she's interested in my fantasy?
Answer Hi Josh!!
So basically it sounds like you both have the same fantasy.... your's just involves more people!!
The easiest way to get started is online. There is tons of online adult sites where you can meet people these days. Create an an ad, let people no that you are just starting out, participate in chat rooms. In that atmosphere you will soon find out most of them are real people just like you, and many just beginning. Lawyers, teachers, doctors, every walk of life, maybe even your next door neighbor!! You will find that most swingers rooms are the friendliest, non-judgemental group of people on the net.
Your next step would be a swing club. There is both on premise(sex permitted) and off premise(limited sexual activity). They are pretty popular in just about every city nowadays. Don't worry about going there and running into someone you no, they are there for the same reason you are! Swing clubs are the perfect place to meet other couples. It is a "no pressure" environment, where you can just watch the interaction and get to no like minded people. It doesn't mean you have to go there and have sex! They are a nice place to go dance and mingle in a VERY sexually charged environment. Don't expect to "get together" with another couple the first night.
Your probably not going to find too many videos on swingers, besides those that have been made by swingers themselves. They don't look, act, or behave any different than your typical porn movie.
You don't have to "learn" what to expect Josh if you have no expectations at all. Simply go as who you are, a beautiful couple, with self confidence and the rest will fall into place.
If she has expressed her fantasy to you, isn't it only fair that you express your fantasy to her? They really aren't that different, and your both about being honest and open with each other if you have come to this level.
Good luck!
Chim
