Expert: Chim Hedo - 11/17/2008

Question
My husband and I are very much in love and we respect each other fully.  We have openly discussed the lifestyle and are both in agreement.  We have been to a couple of parties; where he participated and I just watched, as I was not comfortable.  I am comfortable with the idea but when it comes to actually following thru I clam up how can I get over this and start to enjoy the experiences that are available in the swinging lifestyle.

Answer
Hi Kay,
    A pat on the back girl for at least wanting to try!!
How did you feel when you watched?  When it was over? We're you jealous? Did it arouse you? Stop and think about the emotions you were feeling.  Something is making you uncomfortable, you need to discover what.
    It's very common to be apprehensive about ourselves in this situation.  Am I to big? small? our my boobs to big? small?  Will they like my body?  Am I sexy enough? All these things are probably running through your head and your being too hard on yourself maybe.  Subconciously what are you thinking about when you watch your husband?
    You need to relax, a glass of wine to calm you maybe? Once you are able to come to terms with whatever you are feeling, and feel good about yourself, you will enjoy the experiences the lifestyle has to offer.
Relax!!
Chim