About Chim Hedo Expertise Questions regarding the lifestyle between couples. How to get started, communication, establishing rules. Where to meet people. Feelings, and how to deal with them. Soft vs full swinging. Bi-sexual women in the lifestyle. Lifestyle vacations. Clubs, events and house parties. How to dress and not to dress. Introducing "Vanilla" friends.
Experience Female 15 years in the lifestyle. Married 27.
Publications Currently writing a book on the lifestyle.
Education/Credentials human sexuality
Awards and Honors Host couple at many large Canadian Events. Started Ontario's largest on-line lifestyle site. Host and MC for many Ontario clubs.
Question I'VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MATE FOR TWO YEARS. HE'S BEEN THE
LIFESTYLE FOR A WHILE.SINCE WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER HE HASN'T
PARTICIAPATED IN ANY ACTIVITY.NOW HE THINKS I'M READY FOR IT,I TRIED
TO SET SOME BASIC RULES DOWN BUT HE DOESN'T FOLLOW THEM. HE LIKES
TO PLAY WHEN I'M NOT AROUND.WHEN IT COMES TO HIM WANTING TO HAVE
SEX WITH OTHERS I TOLD HIM TO CALL AND GET PERMISSION FRIST.I DO HAVE
A VERY CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF THE LIFESTYLE LET ME ADD. WE HAVE YET
TO REALLY DO ANYTHING TOGETHER.HE GOES OUT WIT THE GUYS AND THEY
BRING WHEN HOME WITHOUT MY OK.HE WANTS ME TO CONFORM TO THE
LIFESTYLE BUT WITH IS BEHAVIOR I'M HAVING A HARD TIME DO SO.TO ME HIS
IDEA OF SWINGING AND HAVING AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP IS BEING ABLE TO
HAVE SEX WHEN HE WANTS WITHOUT TALKING IT OVER WITH ME. IS THAT
THE WAY THE LIFESTYLE IS ?
Answer Hi Kennyetta,
NO NO NO.
There is a difference between the lifestyle and having an open relationship. Sounds like he just wants to have sex with whomever and whenever he wants, and not include you. If he doesn't care about your boundaries, or how you feel that's not swinging.
That's cheating!
Get out now before you get hurt or he brings home a disease.
Chim
