Expert: Chim Hedo - 11/13/2008

Question
I'm 20 and my girlfriend is 21. We've been together for over 2 years and are both in college.  She's Indian and I'm Irish.

Me and my girlfriend never officially broke up but we didnt talk to each other for a week or so and I kinda ignored her.  She was with another guy only a few days after we didnt speak to each other, they kissed and she met him the next day and went back to his.  They watched a movie and anyways they started kissing and she then say on him and let him but his hand up her top and rub and grab her breasts.

Needless to say when she told me almost a month later I was really hurt cause but of us had only been with each other previously to this.  It really hust me to know she had been with another guy like that.

After she had told me she said she wouldn;t do it again and the next night after she told me she was just with a guy in a nightclub, just kissin and dancin (we were not back together at this point)

She also told me that his a great kisser but that she didnt do anything more than kissing.

Anyways, I have not been with anyone else only her, she has obviously been with 2 other guys which to a certain extent she regrets but I think deep down she was glad to have done it.  Cause she brings it up in some shape or form when we're together.

I don't want anyone to hurt her or use her so I was wondering if maybe we could try swinging, that way we could experience other people but still be together.  The big problem is I dont know if I could watch as someone else pleasured her, hearing her moan because of someone else or just suck someone else off. It would hurt me but at the same time I would like to see it. I dont know what it is, i need to know your advice on this.

Damien

Answer
Hi Damien,
    You guys are definitely not ready to start swinging!! The lifestyle is for couples that are committed to each other (most times).  One has to be comfortable in their relationship, which you definitely are not yet.  If you explore it now, I guarantee it will be the end of your relationship. Maybe you both should go separate ways for a while, and see if TRUE love brings you back together.   Wait 10 years then, if you are still with the same partner, think about it.
Chim