Expert: Leesa - 12/12/2008

Question
We have been married for 30 years my wife is especially attractive (movie star quality) I want her to have sex with other men-- She will pretend with me but wont go any further.
She knows I want her to- but I don't know how to get her to the next step- swinger clubs are out. How do I get her into this- she is very picky -she won't admit it but I know she is interested.
Mike

Answer
Hi there
Thanks for your question. This is common among a lot of couples.
Swinging lifestyle wont work if it about only you and not the both of you.
Can i suggest that most couples start the lifestyle going to a sex shop together, looking at the items and giggling about them. Then maybe watch some soft porn together and talk and talk. The lifestyle is about communication and that is the top priority in this style of living.
Communication about all aspects of sex and what you feel and your thoughts.
Most of the couples that start swinging , actually started by visiting a sex shop and picked up cards with regards to clubs etc.
Please don't try to make your wife do something she does not want to, if she feels she has to do this to please you, it will most definitely fail.
Take time to talk, talk about what she likes, what she feels, how you feel and what you like.
Sometimes just visiting a swingers club and watching what goes on, is the core to having a wonderful enlightening experience for your relationship. Remember, you never have to do anything, simply watch...go home .....make out like teenagers from what you have seen, and remember to TALK....
Hope that helps and let me know how you go.
Lees