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About Analisa
Expertise
Questions related to Swinging i.e. Why did you choose to become a swinger, He/She wants
to but I have doubts, How to begin/get started, What is the purpose of swinging, Why
would you become a swinger, Should we/shouldn't we, Rules (Are/Aren't they needed,
What should they be, What should be non-negotiable, What can be compromised, What to
do if rules are ignored or broken), House vs. private parties, Resources to locate other
swingers, What does it mean to take one for the team
Questions we can't answer: Any alternative sexual questions other than swinging, i.e.
Bestiality, Gang Banging, anything to do with minors, B/D or S&M, toilet games, etc. We also don't feel proficient in answering in depth relationship questions, we are not marriage/relationship counselors, if we receive a question that falls into that category we will refer you to seek professional help.
Experience
Over 10 years in the Lifestyle, numerous events & encounters (some pleasant & enjoyable and others that were less than)
Organizations
NASCA, Good Vibrations, C4P
Education/Credentials
Both of us are college educated professionals.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Alternative Relationship Styles > Adult Swinging > need advice
Expert: Analisa
Date: 3/28/2008
Subject: need advice
Question
how can i get my wife to have sex with another man. i have a secret desire to watch her take a huge penis. she is not into this kind of thing. she wont even talk of it. i am not gay but i cant stop thinking about watching her do this. i would love to gangbang her & would like for her to want it to. ive tried bringing it up in conversation but she wont even begin to talk about it. i dont fantasize about other women, but for about 3yrs. when we have sex i imagine that she has just had sex with another man & i am getting seconds, i imagine her telling me how big he was and how hard he did her, i imagine her thanking me for letting her have sex with him. i think about this every day. i have even went as far as placing an ad for someone to try and seduce her, i got alot of offers but as of yet i havent went through with it. i would like to know of a way to make this happen. i would never leave my wife & outside of her not being as kinky as me, she is a perfect wife, and if you have time tell me what you think about this, she tells me she has no fantasys, & has never masturbated. is that possible, i dont know if i believe that. by the way she is 42 & i am 39.
Answer
Tom,
I would suggest starting very slowly. First by letting her know it is safe for her to discuss her most private & intimate thoughts with you, that you would never share them with anyone. Also let her know how much closer it will bring the two of you.
Maybe buy her a book of erotica, something by Anais Nin (she can explore all kinds of fantasies with that author).
Slowly work into it with all the thoughtfulness you did when you were trying to get her to marry you. Maybe consider role-playing in bed? Find something she is comfortable with & give it a try, then ask her if she enjoyed it. If not try something else, whatever you do, do it slowly and gently, don't push her.
Let me know if you have any further questions.
I hope this helped,
Analisa
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