AboutAnalisa Expertise Questions related to Swinging i.e. Why did you choose to become a swinger, He/She wants
to but I have doubts, How to begin/get started, What is the purpose of swinging, Why
would you become a swinger, Should we/shouldn't we, Rules (Are/Aren't they needed,
What should they be, What should be non-negotiable, What can be compromised, What to
do if rules are ignored or broken), House vs. private parties, Resources to locate other
swingers, What does it mean to take one for the team
Questions we can't answer: Any alternative sexual questions other than swinging, i.e.
Bestiality, Gang Banging, anything to do with minors, B/D or S&M, toilet games, etc. We also don't feel proficient in answering in depth relationship questions, we are not marriage/relationship counselors, if we receive a question that falls into that category we will refer you to seek professional help.
Experience Over 10 years in the Lifestyle, numerous events & encounters (some pleasant & enjoyable and others that were less than)
Organizations NASCA, Good Vibrations, C4P
Education/Credentials Both of us are college educated professionals.
Expert: Analisa Date: 4/8/2008 Subject: First Time Swinging
Question Hi,
My girlfriend and I have a very good sexual relationship. We are very willingly and happily monogamous and we love each other. He have been going out for 2 years. However... we're both sex adventures and always try new things at least once.
We have decided we want to have a foursome with another couple (strangers rather than friends). So technically, we don't want to be swingers. We want to do this all in the same room, swapping every now and then and perhaps all 4 at the same time. We only want to do this once for curiosity and fun.
We have discussed that no matter the experience, we will remain a monogamous couple after that. It's just about trying something new.
Yet, I still have a worry... what if it ruins our relationship? I mean this in the sense that, if it's good, she may want to do it again... and again. I know an experience like this could even strengthen our relationship but there's always doubt... cause this is so new. The thought of her fantasizing about other guys, wanting another foursome makes me sick. I don't want to share her more than once.
She's had a FFM threesome with an ex-boyfriend and I have masturbated to the idea of her having sex with another guy. This is good in the sense that jealousy is not a problem.
I'm just so afraid of the aftermath: perhaps her losing interest in the one-on-one action, or worse, losing our monogamy... how should I deal with this (mentally)?
Regards,
Mr. Worried
Answer Edgar,
Just a heads up what you are talking about is swinging but, it doesn't sound like you are ready for this. It sounds like the two of you have some more talking to do. A LOT of talking to do, actually.
I would suggest sitting down with your significant other & talk all the way through EVERY one of your concerns BEFORE going forward with any further plans. The LifeStyle is NOT for everyone and should not be entered into lightly and definitely not with the worries you have.
Hope this helps, let me know if you have any further questions,
Analisa
