Expert: Analisa - 4/3/2008

Question
My wife and I are seriously considering getting involved with the lifestyle. We're very happily married and secure in our relationship.  The thought of her with another man is very exciting. My only fear is that I'm a little insecure about my own abilities in this environment. I've heard that the average time for men is around 3 min and that's certainly within my range, but usually not much beyond that. I want to be able to participate and satisfy the ladies I might encounter. My wife and I use toys a lot and generally have a great sex life. Do you have any advise or thoughts for me, or what to expect?

Answer
Ted,

For starters, Congratulations, I believe you two will find this to be a very enjoyable experience.

As far as your "abilities" are concerned I would suggest focusing on the pleasure of whomever you are with. Titillate the mind not just the body, show interest in the person (The one thing people LOVE to talk about is themselves), spend time on foreplay & making certain they are satisfied before your “abilities” are required.

If all else fails it is possible to get some of those little blue pills men seem to think are necessary but, we have found they usually just turn men into a pumping machine (which we could get a symbian or a vibrator for that).

My husband is sought after at the parties we attend because he has really focused on his conversation skills and is known throughout our social circles as a genuine nice guy who is always concerned about the comfort & pleasure of his partner. The thing that really turns women on is how you treat your wife. Imagine that?!

Let me know if you have any further questions.

Good Luck
Analisa

P.S. Was just informed by husband that Trojan makes a condom that dulls your sensitivity and helps prolong things. We always use protection as we feel while this is enjoyable & fun nothing is worth losing your life over (it's not just who you're with but ALL the people they've been with & who those people have been with & so on & so on & so on). It is our only non-negotiable ground rule.