AboutAnalisa Expertise Questions related to Swinging i.e. Why did you choose to become a swinger, He/She wants
to but I have doubts, How to begin/get started, What is the purpose of swinging, Why
would you become a swinger, Should we/shouldn't we, Rules (Are/Aren't they needed,
What should they be, What should be non-negotiable, What can be compromised, What to
do if rules are ignored or broken), House vs. private parties, Resources to locate other
swingers, What does it mean to take one for the team
Questions we can't answer: Any alternative sexual questions other than swinging, i.e.
Bestiality, Gang Banging, anything to do with minors, B/D or S&M, toilet games, etc. We also don't feel proficient in answering in depth relationship questions, we are not marriage/relationship counselors, if we receive a question that falls into that category we will refer you to seek professional help.
Experience Over 10 years in the Lifestyle, numerous events & encounters (some pleasant & enjoyable and others that were less than)
Organizations NASCA, Good Vibrations, C4P
Education/Credentials Both of us are college educated professionals.
Question QUESTION: While in a college trip i met this guy who was still new in college. While on the trip we danced together and that was that. So when we went back,the time we were departing he gave me a big hug and told me he would call me. A week passed and he had not called,so i decided to call him,so that we meet and go out dancing. He told me he cannot come and that i go to his place. After some few touching and kissing we had sex, a one night stand i guees. and from that time we never communicated again.
So recently after 3yrs of not seeing each other,we met and he called me and we went out. The kisses were good and very romantic,thou we were both drunk and i was not sure if it was gunuine one. He is married with one kid,and am also married wih two kids. Nowadays i send him messages and he does not reply. Does this guy really likeme or he is simply using me. am always thinking about him,i cant even think straight. When i get a call i always pray that ita him,but invain. what should i do?
ANSWER: Dear Reeny,
First, are you happily married? Do you love your husband? How do you feel about those kids of yours? WHY are you waiting for a guy who never calls to call you now?
I strongly suggest you buy the book 'He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys ' by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo. Amazon is selling for as little as 49 cents. Or you can wait for the movie but that wont be releasing until 24 October 2008. Here is a link to the trailer: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/trailers-imdb-vi1239875865
Good Luck,
Analisa
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thanks Analisa for answering me so quick. As i can say,i am not in a happy marriage, my husband does not even notice me. He does not even care about my feelings. Am even thinking of moving out with my babies.
About my babies,i love them so so much and they are the ones who keep me moving every day. at the moment,am already convinced that i will never get a chance in this guys life....and tha he does not care about me. I have stopped calling and thinking about him. Am alright now and hope to continue that way. But le me ask you....what should i do when he calls me? last weekend he called me and i refused to pick up. Should i pick up his calls or not?
Answer Reeny,
Stay away from this guy, he is BAD for your self-esteem. Worse even than your husband (at least he made a committment). He blows in & out of your life over a three year period. Do you really think you are his only booty call?
I would strongly suggest you try talking to your husband before you beat feet with the kids. Guys are very clueless and most of them haven't got any idea when something is wrong.
Make a list of the things you need from your husband and let him know that these things are important to you. Try to have this conversation without blame or anger. Try talking in first person only. This means not using any "You" as in "You don't do ...." or "You make me feel....." instead say "I need . . ." & "When (blank) happens I feel like you don't care and then I feel . . ."
