Expert: Analisa - 6/7/2008

Question
So, an old lover recently popped up out of the blue...he had changed jobs and not left me any info to reach him (rude, I know). A few days ago, he left a message saying "I've been thinking about you. You know you turn me on. Wondering if you'd like to have a drink ." I called back right away...hell it's a sure thing, right? When we did talk he piddled around with a little bit of small talk, then just out with this: "I've got a friend who's bi and would like to have sex with another woman. You know you turn me on. Would you be interested?"

I know the sex will be outstanding, our chemistry is insane and we're physically well-matched...one of the best I've every had every time. Just getting a message that he was thinking of me and wanted to have drinks sent me on a sexual highlight reel. I am too ready to go.

But here's the problem. I think I'm peeved that it didn't occur to him to reconnect with me before he sprung the swinging on me. I told him 'no' pretty quickly but clarified that I didn't want to share. He thought I meant sexually, I think, and so suggested that she would only watch. I really meant that I'm not sure I want to be the 3rd...I'd be more enthusiastic if I were part of the couple I think and in control of the swinging.

Well anyway, I'm definitely bi-curious and intrigued. Hell, I might do it 'cause, frankly, sex with him is just that good. What are the questions that I should ask beforehand?

Answer
Rachel,
For starters I think this is a bad plan all the way around but, if this is what you think you REALLY want you need to be very clear what your boundaries are. Also you might want to let them both know how you really feel and how you wish that the relationship is with you.

Then if everyone is cool, I would say go have a good time, use protection and stay safe.

Hope this helps,
Analisa