Expert: Analisa - 6/28/2008

Question
My LT partner and I have been swinging on and off for a couple of years, pretty much foursomes.Just this weekend, a female friend of his proposed a threesome which I agreed to against my gut instinct. I felt pressure to say yes to keep my partner happy. This has really thrown me because I have never been put on the spot before and always taken our time to choose people right especially for me. During our time in bed, for some reason I felt that he was paying too much attention to her, and the whole experience was not much fun at all. I also feel like the whole idea was for the 2 of them to have sex and I was just included to make it able to happen.
I have told my partner how I feel and he has reassured me and is genuinely sorry that it was not what I wanted. The problem is now I am worried about their friendship and feel that I might not be able to handle it now. The other thing is that I feel so down about the whole thing and lost so much feeling, I feel resentful of my partner and her even though its my own fault for not speaking up clearly about what I wanted. I hate myself for doing something I didnt want to just to please other people.


Answer
Suzee,

What would you like me to help you with?

I am not certain what your question is and I don't necessarily feel this really has anything to do with "swinging" per-se but more to do with how you feel after this has occurred.

I applaud your honesty and commitment to your LT relationship. I can suggest setting a few ground rules for future encounters. These need to be ones you & your partner come up with together.

Hope this helps,
Analisa