AboutAnalisa Expertise Questions related to Swinging i.e. Why did you choose to become a swinger, He/She wants
to but I have doubts, How to begin/get started, What is the purpose of swinging, Why
would you become a swinger, Should we/shouldn't we, Rules (Are/Aren't they needed,
What should they be, What should be non-negotiable, What can be compromised, What to
do if rules are ignored or broken), House vs. private parties, Resources to locate other
swingers, What does it mean to take one for the team
Questions we can't answer: Any alternative sexual questions other than swinging, i.e.
Bestiality, Gang Banging, anything to do with minors, B/D or S&M, toilet games, etc. We also don't feel proficient in answering in depth relationship questions, we are not marriage/relationship counselors, if we receive a question that falls into that category we will refer you to seek professional help.
Experience Over 10 years in the Lifestyle, numerous events & encounters (some pleasant & enjoyable and others that were less than)
Organizations NASCA, Good Vibrations, C4P
Education/Credentials Both of us are college educated professionals.
Cherubino writes on 2008-09-11 00:01:09
The appeal centers around sperm competition and involves simple supply and demand dynamics with respect to reproductive resources. The less perceived access to mating opportunities with a beloved wife, whom is deemed very adaptive from the reproductive perspective, the higher the value of mating opportunities with her in general. The demand is high, because she's seen as adaptive, but the supply decreases, so the value (price willing to pay) increases. This is why husbands get more turned on by fewer mating opportunities in the present and signals of fewer in the future. This is meant to drive the husband to quickly mate with the wife so that he has a chance of inpregnating her first, hence taking advantage of a limited opportunity to do so. However, there is a tipping point in which, if the husband feels secure enough to know he will not lose his wife, then he is actually more turned on by the knowledge that his wife is sharing her mating opportunities with another man than soley mating with her himself.
Sperm competition is seen in many animal species., but largely unseen is the willing, enthusiastic participation of the cuckold. This is a uniquely human behavior, rooted in our ability for symbolic, self-referential metacognition, facilitated in part by language modules in the human brain. Because the human cuckold can step outside of himself and view the situation from without, he has opportunity to realize that the mere sperm competition is more arousing than actually mating with his wife, again due to supply and demand, and hence develops strategies to facilitate the shift toward being a willing cuckold.
As mentioned above, because the cuckold now is more aroused by the decrease in supply of mating opportunities with his adaptive wife, he is willing to expend more energy and social capital (price) to keep her happy enough to either continue the cuckolding or keep him included. Hence, there is sometimes the self-feeding spiral down for the cuckold, who actually seeks to work harder for his wife and accept more humiliation to pay for his increased arousal.
Pregnancy is a big turn on for cuckolds, because it means the hot wife will be unavailable to reproduce with him for perhaps at least a year and she will then likely develop a special bond with the father of the child, thus increasing the chance that she will leave the cuck for her lover.
For the wife, research has shown that women prefer men with more alpha characteristics during ovulation. Genetic evidence indicates that short flings on the sly with alpha males have not been uncommon during human existence. Women benefit in terms of reproductive success by marrying men who will be loyal and will be good fathers to their children, while cheating with alpha males for more immediate genetic benefits. The idea is to fool the beta male into raising the alpha male children. This is why jealousy evolved in the first place.
Hence, many women enjoy the cuckold lifestyle as they get everything they want. They optimize their reproductive success. The cuckold expends ever more energy and welcomes increasing social humilitation to send ever stronger signals of devotion, which lets her know her beta male needs will be met as she seeks ever more mating success with alphas.
I should mention here at the end that, even though it is perhaps obvious, characteristics in alpha lovers such as larger penises, higher social status, etc, are more exciting for the cuckold, as they make it more likely they will have fewer mating opportunities with their wives, due to the lack of the cuck's ability to substitute.
I aplogize for the organization of this post, but I think it offers a fairly comprehensive explanation for cuckold behavior.
