Expert: Analisa - 4/2/2009

Question
Hi Analisa,  I realize you can't speak to my wife's feelings specifically, but I
was hoping you might be familiar with the situation, and may help shed
some light.

For my birthday a few years back, she took me to a strip club (nice place). We
brought a dancer to the champaign room, and the two of them essentially
made out for an hour for my viewing pleasure. My wife kept her clothes on,
but the dancer had only her G-string on. Basically, they did about everything
two people can do without actually producing orgasms.

My wife had expressed some curiosity prior, but had never even kissed
another girl before this and really seemed lost in the moment. Quite frankly, I
think she forgot I was even there for large moments of time. When we finally
got home, the sex was unbelievable.

Well, I enjoyed this show immensely and told her how appreciative I was. She
was giggling like a schoolgirl for days afterward. I also told her that if she
wanted to further explore her bi-curiosity, I would be supportive. She said
she was very interested but didn't want to necessarily pursue anything.
Instead, she would just keep options open and react if and when a situation
arose.

Several months afterward, her tune switched pretty solidly, and she now
claims that she got the curiosity "out of her system." I'm perfectly okay with
the fact that she may not want to explore further, but it is confusing. Is it
normal for "straight" girls to explore, thoroughly enjoy this exploration, then
lose all interest? We're not swingers, but I thought you might be the best to
shed some light on her mindset.

To be clear, I only want her to be comfortable and have fun. I guess I'm
concerned that she's holding back for fear that I may start to get jealous. I
don't want her to feel stifled, just as I don't want her to feel pressured into
anything she doesn't truly want.

Anyway, that's my situation and confusion. Any thoughts?

Answer
Dear Confused,

To answer your first question, yes it is perfectly "normal" for women to explore the bi side and then go on and live a completely straight life.  If you want to know if she truly has lost ALL interest I would suggest you sit down and talk to her and ask her. Find out what she is interested in and if she has ANY interest in exploring that ANY further. If after a frank and honest conversation (where you express your concerns also), she still states she has NO interest then I suggest you accept what she says and support her choices.

Hope this helps,
Analisa