AboutAnalisa Expertise Questions related to Swinging i.e. Why did you choose to become a swinger, He/She wants
to but I have doubts, How to begin/get started, What is the purpose of swinging, Why
would you become a swinger, Should we/shouldn't we, Rules (Are/Aren't they needed,
What should they be, What should be non-negotiable, What can be compromised, What to
do if rules are ignored or broken), House vs. private parties, Resources to locate other
swingers, What does it mean to take one for the team
Questions we can't answer: Any alternative sexual questions other than swinging, i.e.
Bestiality, Gang Banging, anything to do with minors, B/D or S&M, toilet games, etc. We also don't feel proficient in answering in depth relationship questions, we are not marriage/relationship counselors, if we receive a question that falls into that category we will refer you to seek professional help.
Experience Over 10 years in the Lifestyle, numerous events & encounters (some pleasant & enjoyable and others that were less than)
Organizations NASCA, Good Vibrations, C4P
Education/Credentials Both of us are college educated professionals.
Question My wife and I have been swinging for about 3 years now. We started back then because of my job and her wanting to have sex even while I was away on business. We have been doing it on and off for 3 years now and all of the sudden out of the blue she just takes herself out of our website and doesn't even tell me and when I try to ask her about it she won't really talk to me about it. I am wondering what if anything I can do to try to get her to open up and talk to me about it. And in the long run I would love to keep swinging with her. Thanks.
Answer Dominick,
I am guessing from you letter the two of you were 'separate' swingers (not same room or even necessarily same time).
I would strongly suggest you sit down with her and create a safe space of honest, open communication. The way you do this is to prepare yourself beforehand by freeing your mind of all blame, anger or distrust. Prepare yourself to hear the worst (i.e. she was attacked, possibly date raped, she formed an attachment or something equally unpleasant) then whether the reason is innocuous or more serious your reaction either way will hopefully be supportive. This way you can honestly tell her no matter what she has to say you will still be there for her and mean it. Tell her how much you love care for her. Let her know how important she is to you and remind her of the fact that together you two are stronger than separate. Together the two of you can work through anything.
Bottom line is something happened for her to do this and for the benefit of your marriage you need to find out what it was.
