AboutAnalisa Expertise Questions related to Swinging i.e. Why did you choose to become a swinger, He/She wants
to but I have doubts, How to begin/get started, What is the purpose of swinging, Why
would you become a swinger, Should we/shouldn't we, Rules (Are/Aren't they needed,
What should they be, What should be non-negotiable, What can be compromised, What to
do if rules are ignored or broken), House vs. private parties, Resources to locate other
swingers, What does it mean to take one for the team
Questions we can't answer: Any alternative sexual questions other than swinging, i.e.
Bestiality, Gang Banging, anything to do with minors, B/D or S&M, toilet games, etc. We also don't feel proficient in answering in depth relationship questions, we are not marriage/relationship counselors, if we receive a question that falls into that category we will refer you to seek professional help.
Experience Over 10 years in the Lifestyle, numerous events & encounters (some pleasant & enjoyable and others that were less than)
Organizations NASCA, Good Vibrations, C4P
Education/Credentials Both of us are college educated professionals.
Question My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years, friends for 5. Prior to our marriage we had both been in a few relationships that were considered swinging. I feel wrong about my feelings sometimes but I can not help the way I feel. The issue is this, we go to socials all the time but my husband gets the phone number of the other female and constantly text or calls them. I hate to say it but I am jealous. I asked him why was he calling her all the time but he was defensive about it and accused me of controlling who he talks to. Now I don’t know about everyone else but when I came into the lifestyle, it was inappropriate and against protocol to communicate that way. What I am saying is... The males talk and the females talk. The males do not call the other female to set up things or text them 35 times in one day. I thought it was protocol for either the men to contact each other or the females contact each other so no one gets their toes stepped on. Am I wrong for this?
Answer Tracey:
To answer your question, I wont say you are wrong but, closer to incorrect. Any "protocol" (commonly referred to as ground rules) out there is usually established by the couple in question.
I would strongly suggest that you & your husband take a step back and have a frank discussion about each of your needs, expectations, desires, level of comfort and what ground rules you both feel should be in place (i.e. same room only, protection always, soft-swap only, etc.). This needs to also cover who contacts whom. Then once this is established remember ground rules need to flex as the two of you grow in the LifeStyle but, ground rules should not be changed singly, the change needs to be discussed and agreed upon between the two of you.
