AboutAnalisa Expertise Questions related to Swinging i.e. Why did you choose to become a swinger, He/She wants
to but I have doubts, How to begin/get started, What is the purpose of swinging, Why
would you become a swinger, Should we/shouldn't we, Rules (Are/Aren't they needed,
What should they be, What should be non-negotiable, What can be compromised, What to
do if rules are ignored or broken), House vs. private parties, Resources to locate other
swingers, What does it mean to take one for the team
Questions we can't answer: Any alternative sexual questions other than swinging, i.e.
Bestiality, Gang Banging, anything to do with minors, B/D or S&M, toilet games, etc. We also don't feel proficient in answering in depth relationship questions, we are not marriage/relationship counselors, if we receive a question that falls into that category we will refer you to seek professional help.
Experience Over 10 years in the Lifestyle, numerous events & encounters (some pleasant & enjoyable and others that were less than)
Organizations NASCA, Good Vibrations, C4P
Education/Credentials Both of us are college educated professionals.
Question Hi, I am 18 years old and my husband is 21. We have only been married for 8 months. I am satisfied in my relationship sexually even though I have never had an orgasm. I have recently been getting really turned on by the thought of him watching me with another female, male or both. I even enjoy thinking about him being involved with me and them. I tried to bring it up to him by asking him what his fantasies are, etc. and he told me that other than having sex in the shower which we have done and me dying my hair blonde that he doesn't have any. I asked him about these specifically and he said that they didn't interest him. I think that they really do, but he is afraid of what I will think of him or something. The reason I think this is because I know that he used to watch porn especially girl-on-girl. I was wondering if you think that he really is into something like this and just doesn't want to tell me, and if you knew of a more aggressive way to tell him that I am interested in it without freaking him out?
Answer Cassidy,
There is no way for me to know or be able to say if your husband is or is not into something or what he is really thinking.
What I would suggest is rather than talking about his fantasies, tell him about yours. Try being honest and open with him. If his response is anything but, positive (this does not necessarily mean he's interested or wants to fulfill those fantasies) but, if it is anything but supportive and understanding of your interest, then this is probably not the best person to be with anyway. You need someone who may not necessarily go along with everything you want to do but, is willing to try to understand why you want to do something (and not just about sex).
