Expert: Guycurious - 11/25/2011

Question
It is so hard to accept that my boyfriend desires other women.... how can I get over it?  I told him I agree to have some soft swap/ club experience, but cant handle hard swap.

He says he is okay with my limits... but I feel like he will never be totally satisfied and will always hope I will change my mind.  It really affects my openness in bed.  I am afraid to open up to give him false hopes.

Answer
My wife knows I desire other women sexually but my heart belongs to her and her alone.  For us sex is just that, sex, a physical act that satisfies one's desire to be with others.  If you're not comfortable with full swap then tell him so and let him decide what's more important, your relationship or being with other women.  Full swap is not for everyone as it takes a strong, committed relationship with open lines of communication to make it work.  Not being honest with your partner about what you want and do not want will only hurt the relationship.

Feelings of jealousy are normal when most couples dabble in the lifestyle.  But if the feelings persist then the lifestyle is not for you.  We've seen couples argue at the club because one person wanted to be there and the other only went along trying to please, doesn't work out well.  Be honest and go from there.  Better to work this out now than later.

I hope this helps and please write back and let me know how you're doing.