Expert: Guycurious - 12/1/2011

Question
Recently my girlfriend initiated the topic of swinging.  She started off by making me "promise not to tell.." about her girlfriend's story.  Her friend and husband talked about it and agreed to try. They even had a another couple willing to try and had a trip planned.  It didn't come to fruition. However, just talking about the swinging improved the friends' sex life.   My GF asked me what I thought about it.  I said I didn't think so because of possible jealousy, self conscsiousness etc. But deep inside it piqued my interest and I am interested.  She said she would not be interested.   However, I think she was gauging my interest because she may be interested.   How can I best revisit this topic with her to see if we are both intesested in taking a step toward swinging?   It sounds exciting, but I don't want any wierdness, relationship problems.  We are solid and going on 4 years together.

Answer
Tell her you thought further about the idea and now you're interested.  If she says no way, then let it go.

Jealousy and insecurity are pretty common emotions people feel when they first dabble in the lifestyle.  The relationship must be strong and have good, open lines of communication or there could be problems.  We've seen people argue at the club because one person wanted to be there and the other didn't.  Bad situation.

If you do decide to try it out I suggest the two of you sit down and discuss the ground rules and stick to them.  Don't let the heat of the moment take over or you may have regrets later.  Screen the prospective couples carefully to make sure there's a common interest.  My wife and I arrange to meet new people in a public setting to gauge the mutual interest before things go any further.  If either of us is uncomfortable we call it off.  

Good luck, have fun and stay safe.