Expert: Guycurious - 1/26/2012

Question
My wife and I have been married for over ten years and (I know this is difficult to believe) have NEVER had an argument.  We are both mature (mid 30s-mid-40s) and we explore lots of different things sexually.  Neither of us has ever had a threesome to my knowledge, although we've discussed a bringing another woman into the bedroom on several occasions and I know this is something she'd like to try.  She always said she's open to it with the right person.  That person being not a complete stranger, but also not someone we'd ever have to see again in case it was awkward.  Later, when I was actually approached by a mutual acquaintance about this exact subject, my wife was reluctant, saying that she was not really attracted to the woman, but I suspected it was something else.  I pressed her for the "real" reason letting her know that if she would be honest with me, I would drop the subject.  She said she's afraid it would ruin our marriage and I have never spoken of it again.  Still, I don't want her fantasies or desires to go unfulfilled so I'm torn.  I want her to be able to experience it, but I've given my word.  I guess my question is, should I leave it alone, or give her an opportunity to change her mind?

Answer
I suggest breaching the topic again just to make sure your wife still holds the same position.  Let her know you've been torn between bringing it up and honoring your promise of not doing so and the only reason you're doing so is to make sure she doesn't have any unfulfilled desires.  

But, if she once again states she's afraid such an adventure would ruin your marriage and she's adamant then you must let it go for good.  If she's open to discussion then ask her why she feels this type of sexual exploration will be detrimental to the marriage.  She does have a valid concern, once you open Pandora's Box it can be very difficult to close if at all.

Good luck and please write back and let me know how you're doing.