Expert: Guycurious - 1/25/2012

Question
Hello there,
My wife, R, and I, B, have been married for 7 years and 9 years in a committed relationship. We have a 4 year son. I am not new to the scene and been in and out of the life style 7/8 years before our relationship started. R knew about my naughty side since the first couple of months in to our relationship. Couple of months before our wedding, she disclosed to me her fantasies about other women and how she would like to  experience the gentle touch of another lady.

As part of our honeymoon trip, I included a trip to Thailand. When she heard about it, she was extremely turned on and excited about it. In our first experience, I invited couple of message girls to come to our suite for private message. As the girls undressed us and started rubbing oil all over our bodies, I could see the amount of  excitement building in R's eyes. The massage girl looked at me for my approval to do more and I looked at R and saw her at the height of ecstasy. So, I nodded my head at which time the massage girl went really crazy and started licking her and finger fucking her very hard. The other girl was hard at work sucking me and masturbating me in given her special techniques while R was excitedly looking at my height of sexual pleasure.

Unfortunately, R got some sort of minor infection probably because the girl giving her message had not washed her hands thoroughly and in her frenzy, we suspect her nail or something might have cut her vagina.

We watch porn together and over the years, her favorite scenes are lesbian movies where the girls involved are really into each other. We have talked about introducing other girls into our love making but given where we reside, such practices are frowned upon and we can indulge in such fantasies only when we travel. We have membership at SDC and have chatted with a few couples who have expressed to whom we have made a connection.

I have slowly introduced the idea that I am OK if she wants to be intimate with both females and males as long as it is within a protected and safe environment. We both love each other and are committed to our relationship.  She has asked me if I would be OK with seeing her with another man? To which I have responded that as long as she enjoys it, it would be perfectly OK with me. She has asked me if I am sure that I would not be jealous if I saw her with another man? I have told her that I have been in that situations many times before and never felt any jealousy before. She has asked me but you have never been married in your past  experiences and I have responded that although it is true that I have never been in a committed relationship as strong as the one I cam currently involved in, but it was not as if I never cared for my ex-swing-partners.

There are two girls that she fantasizes about one in Canada and the other one in Turkey that from time to time we keep in touch but never had the pleasure of meeting them in person - Cyber-sex only so far.

She has expressed to me on numerous occasions that she would get very turned on by the thought of me and another woman. R does not like anal sex but both of our friends adore it. R has told me I can have anal  sex with them if it turns me on to do so. She also wants us both to make passionate love to those ladies that we have found common interest over the Internet with. We have discussed various positions and fantasies and such discussions have significantly increased our excitement and joy from our sexual activities. On 3 or 4 instances when I have done role playing, she has become very aroused and excited about the thought of couple of our male friends being involved in our fantasies.

As a background, during our love making or fucking sessions, R has never come to a orgasm during intercourse. However,  orally, I always make sure she gets an orgasm. She has not had many partners prior to our marriage and due to her strict Catholic up-bringing, she has been thought that sex is dirty. Although she no longer subscribes to such teachings but we both wonder if this might have some  effect on her inability to reach orgasm during intercourse. She is capable of squirting after she has been sufficiently stimulated by a vibrator but various techniques that I have applied has never produced the same result.

Many of my past sexual partners have commented that I am thick but I think more of myself as an average guy when it comes to one's penis size. I am about 6 inches long and when extremely excited maybe about 6.5 inches and about 6.5 inches in grid.
When I am very  aroused and enter her in doggy style, she sometimes says, please don't stop and screams in pleasure that you are hitting something but her screams and show of excitement makes me extremely turned out and as a result within a few minutes I can no longer hold back and cum.


My questions are as follows:

1. Do you think R is ready for a full-swap yet or should we get involved in a threesome with another lady first?

2. Why do you think she would bring up the question of jealousy and if I would be OK to see her with other man?

I love R from the bottom of my heart and would love to see her get pleased and feel sexually satisfied whether it be via FMF, FFM, FMFM, MFM, MFFM...

Regards,
B

Answer
As long as your relationship is sold and you have honest, open lines of communication and have discussed the ground rules in detail I don't see any reason why you're not ready to try full swap.  I'd suggest setting up a silent signal that either of you can use to end a situation if either becomes uncomfortable.  

She is smart to ask about jealousy.  The last thing you want is for one person to become jealous during an intimate moment.  That's not to say the feeling will not arise as it could very well happen once the reality of the moment exists.  

Give it a try and if either becomes uncomfortable then quickly end it, go home and wait till both have had some time to process the night until you talk about it.

Good luck and have fun !