My wife is interested in swinging/couple swapping I am more reserved than she is so although it sounds good in fantasy I am more vanilla were she is much more not vanilla. I could probably go the rest of my life without actually swinging were as to she has always wanted to be in the lifestyle and says she's not fullfilled completely without it. If I ask her to surpress her desires shell do.it but won't be happy yet if I go along with swinging I don't know if I could handle seeing her with other people. Is ending the marriage the best solutions here?
Sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your question, but I am not sure where to begin. I would never recommend ending a relationship based on one disagreement. You wouldn't bulldoze a house because you don't like the windows, so don't call it quits just because you and your wife have different preferences when it comes to the bedroom.
You both need to sit down and have a serious conversation about how important the lifestyle is to your wife. When people tell me they are interested in the lifestyle, but are concerned about jealousy, or not being able to enjoy seeing their other half with someone else, I always give the same advice. Go to a club, either a dance club or a swingers club. Lay down some ground rules that you are both comfortable with, such as no kissing, just dancing, etc. Now go to the club and have fun. Watch each other interact with others in a sexual environment. If you feel uncomfortable or jealous just seeing her in that setting, dancing and touching other men, then the lifestyle is definitely not an option for you. You may be surprised though. You may find that it excites you to see other men interested in your wife, or even to see her interested in them.
Before Jeff and I entered the lifestyle, I was a very jealous person. We started out slowly, and have now been in the LS for almost 3 years.
I am not saying that you have to join the lifestyle to make her happy, and I am not saying that your wife has to give up on it completely to make you happy, but if your marriage is solid, you should attempt to find a compromise.
Jeff and I have found that going to clubs, dancing with other people, etc., then going home with each other, can be just as thrilling as actually going home with another couple.
It is definitely something you need to sit down and talk about, and not make any rash decisions without talking it out and discussing your options.