Adult Swinging/Wanting to watch wife


I'm not sure how many people would think I'm crazy for asking this question.

I have a strong desire to watch my wife with another man.  I think about it quite a bit, and when we have sex, the desire is very strong.  I've asked her about it as part of dirty talk when in the middle of sex.  I think she just views it as dirty talk because she hasn't brought it up outside of the bed.

Things like when she is performing oral sex on me, and I will use her vibrator in her vagina or have her use her vibrator while saying that she must need another penis (more vulgar term) in her.  Or when we are having sex, I will ask her if she needs another one in her mouth.  It really gets her off, but again I don't know if it is just dirty talk and role playing during sex.

I have had this feeling for a long time.  Is it normal, or am I some sort of freak?  I really want to see her perform oral sex on another man, and I think about it when we are out and she interacts with guys; at a store, doctor's office, etc.  I know how good she is, and I want to see another guy in her mouth.  

How do I approach the subject outside the bedroom?
Am I crazy for feeling this way?

There's nothing at all crazy or unnatural about your fantasy - and making it a reality can be fun too! Quite simply, why not ask her about what she thinks about trying it? You could say something like, "Honey, you know my fantasy about.... (describe)? Well I've actually been having thoughts about trying it. What do you think?"
You might find she's been thinking the same things.
Make sure you approach the subject in a loving way and make her realise that it's all about HER pleasure - that it's something that you think she might really enjoy. Also, emphasise the safety aspect - tell her you'll take it slow and that you'll make sure she's never in a situation of doing something she's not happy with, that she will be in total control, etc.
You might get a very positive reaction, and it sounds like the chances are you will. So go for it!
Hope this helps.
Best wishes

Adult Swinging

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Michael Andrews


Couples sexuality, swinging, relationships


Speaker, author, publisher and workshop presenter in the areas of couples relationships and sexuality. Author of "How To Turn Your Partner Into a Swinger" and "The Sexless Marriage Cure", both available from Amazon Kindle bookstore.

Author, "How To Turn Your Partner Into a Swinger", available at Consulting editor, "Real Intimacy: the 9 Habits of Great Relationships", available at Free Report, "How to Reignite the Passion in Your Relationship" available from

MA (Hons), DipBus

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