Adult Swinging/First time swingers


Hi. I am a woman in my thirties and my husband and I have been thinking about having a threesome for a long time. We have finally decided to try it, and have found someone that we both like. I am excited, but also nervous! Do you have any advice for first timers? Also, I confided in a friend of mine about this and she said that something must be missing in our relationship if we are considering letting a third party in our bedroom. But our relationship is great, better than it's ever been! She made me feel a bit insecure. She basically implied that swingers can't really love their husband/wife/life partner and still crave sex with someone else. But I think there is a difference between love and sex. Could you please share your thoughts with me? Also, in your opinion what is the best way to meet potential mates? Swing clubs, strip clubs, swingers magazines etc Thank you very much for your time. I appreciate it.

Hi there, a few questions to answer here...:)
Firstly, it's natural to be nervous so don't be concerned. The key is communication between you and your husband. Before you try it, talk it through and discuss and boundaries or rules you want to set, things you want and don't want and what to do if things start to go wrong. Agree that if at any time either of you is not comfortable with what is going on you will say so and you will stop.
I think your friend is jealous! Swinging is a wonderful enhancement to a loving relationship and for you to be able to expand your sexual experiences with your husband by involving others is something that few couples can do - and many more would probably secretly like to do. The lesson is probably not to tell people unless you are sure they can handle it.
Re meeting others, t can be hard to find other compatible people, depending on what you are looking for. I have found that the best places are swinger clubs and online swinger websites (such as and It's always a good idea not to play with people on the first meeting; that takes the pressure off anyone.
Congratulations that you and your husband have such a great relationship that you can take this step. Relax and have fun!
All the best,


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Michael Andrews


Couples sexuality, swinging, relationships


Speaker, author, publisher and workshop presenter in the areas of couples relationships and sexuality. Author of "How To Turn Your Partner Into a Swinger" and "The Sexless Marriage Cure", both available from Amazon Kindle bookstore.

Author, "How To Turn Your Partner Into a Swinger", available at Consulting editor, "Real Intimacy: the 9 Habits of Great Relationships", available at Free Report, "How to Reignite the Passion in Your Relationship" available from

MA (Hons), DipBus

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