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Adult Swinging/Trying to understand how to proceed


My wife and myself went on a holiday to a lifestyle resort.  Prior we had never even been to a hot tub party, so this was quite a step for us.  She had two experiences with other women, which she really enjoyed.  The sex between the two of us was amazing during the holiday.  The problem now is that she wants to see me with another woman, which of course I am good with, my only reservation is if once it happens she may not like it as much as she seems to want it to happen. I told her of the opportunities that were presented to me and turned down and she called me crazy.  Just worried that she mite not take it as well as she says that she will.  Am I crazy?  
 We will be going back next year as we both enjoyed this holiday immensely.  We are in contact by email with some couples that we met on the previous holiday.  She propositioned me numerous times and now I do not know how to ask?
 Another point she told me that she only wants Bi experiences and soft swap for herself (which I like)  She really wants to watch me with someone else; why am I worried?

A small amount of jealousy in a relationship is perfectly normal. Being concerned about her jealousy is perfectly normal as well. I must say that for me, a big part of the lifestyle is getting to watch Jeff with other women. There is just something very thrilling about seeing him have sex the way he and I do. Seeing him with other women is very satisfying for me.

If you are nervous about her reaction, take it slow. Maybe meet a woman at a club, dance with her, maybe get a little touchy feely, but stop before it goes too far. Go home and let your wife process it all. Talk about the experience and feelings about it. Remember that communication and honesty are the most important things about being swingers.

I would say just bring it up casually. Ask her if she is still interested in seeing you with someone else, and just take it from there.

Now this is the advice I would give anyone new in the lifestyle. However, there is something you said that makes me curious.

"Another point she told me that she only wants Bi experiences and soft swap for herself (which I like)"

Are you saying that would would prefer that she does not full swap with another man? Could this be why you are concerned about how she would react to seeing you with someone else? Because you would be jealous if the situation was reversed? I think this is something that definitely needs to be talked about. Just be open and honest about your feelings all the way around.

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Jenn & Jeff


We can answer questions based on introduction to swinging, what to expect in the lifestyle, swinger clubs, etiquette, and pretty much anything else. We can offer insight based on cheaters, safe sex, and multiple partners. What if only 1 half is interested? We can answer that too.


We have been involved in the lifestyle for over 2 years, as well as Sexperts for California Exotics. We run an adult based blog, where we offer news and articles based on sexual health and relationships.


We have no educational credentials, but we do have first hand knowledge and experience.

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