Adult Swinging/start swinging
My boyfriend and I have been discussing the lifestyle and getting involved. I've never swung but was always curious about the lifestyle, the people, experiences.....basically everything about it. He has been in the lifestyles for many years. We have very open discussions about his experiences, as well as why we're thinking of doing this and fears/worries. I've always been the possessive and jealous type of person until now; I feel very secure and confident in him and our relationship. But I still worry, can I handle seeing him with another woman? We've discussed this and both acknowledge and agree of the two of us I'd probably need a extra t.l.c.. He suggests having a mmf threesome as my first experience as this has always been a fantasy of mine. While more than nervous I'm excited about the idea. When I think about watching him be with another woman I'm both excited about the idea and insecure. I keep reassuring myself, he keeps reassuring me, that I and we will work through the emotions and grow stronger. Do you have any suggestions how to "test the waters" before we go down that road? I don't want either of us to have bad a bad experience.
Hi there! Thank you for sending in your question! This is actually one of my favorite questions to answer.
A great way to test the waters, in my experience, is to go to a club. Could be a swingers club, or a night club. Interact with other people. Set firm ground rules. Lets say, for the sake of just testing your reactions, start out with just dancing. If you are fine with that, step it up a notch. Let him get a little handsy. If you are still feeling ok, let him kiss another female. Basically loosen up the reins depending on how comfortable you are with seeing him with another woman. The most important thing is that you stay communicating throughout the experience, and that you are honest about your emotions and what you are feeling.
Good luck!! The lifestyle can be amazing, and can be whatever you two decide it is for the two of you.