Adult Swinging/Wife does not want to be in Swinging after her her first full experience.
Let me give you background first so you can understand my question and issue. First of all we have been married for over 3 years been together for almost 10 years. My wife was very conservative before she met me, but now she has grown so much in sensuality in some ways.
I have been in the Swinging LS (lifestyle) in my last marriage for about 5 years. I liked it. My wife knew of my past in swinging and knew all the things that I have done in the LS. I have asked her if she would at first she said no, but in time she wanted to start going out with me to clubs. She knew I liked it and never minded it.
We have been going to couples clubs for about 4 years now. Mostly off premise. In no way I have tried to push her into this and have let her take it at her own pace. I have tried to be as supportive as I can when it comes to her attitudes and concerns about the LS. I love her and wanted to be comfortable with it if she wanted to proceed to get into to it. She gains a lot of attention due to her exotic looks and her beauty.
We have many friends in the LS (swinging Life Style) including very good friends with the owners of one of the clubs. At first when we first started going to the LS clubs it was only to dance and be intimate. We liked the music at the clubs due to the variety of types of music we danced to. Well as time progressed my wife started dressing more provocatively and is now at the point that she dresses in very revealing clothes that shows most of her body. Many times not even wearing panties or bra so she is pretty much revealed to every one at the clubs.
She has had some light play with women on the dance floor like touching and sucking never went much beyond that. She has touched men only a very limited way and only with men within couples.She has let some men in a couple situation touch her breasts, She has never been with another man in the LS. In that fact she has only been with 2 men in her lifetime.
She has always seemed to like the attention that people give to her and how she dresses. She even dresses sexy at work. She knows both women and men like her.
Until now that has been the way its been for the last 4 years. Her dressing even more provocatively at the clubs, a little more touching, a little more open.
well recently in the last couple months we met another couple. The woman was little aggressive but my wife seemed to hit it off with her. The other wife was getting her to do things she never did before. She was getting her to walk around naked in a club, got her to cum in a club while all 4 of us were naked and people watching. We met a couple times with that couple they were into soft swing so were we for the most part. Well it did not work out with that couple, but since then my wife has been more aggressive. She would go up to couples we knew and and we would dance with them and she would play with the woman.
For the most part we have always gone to off premise clubs. With that couple we meet a couple months ago we had gone to a on premise club where she she came for the other couple in the club that I previously talked about. I never forced or pushed my wife to go to either type of club it was always mutually agreed to. The reason I stress that I never pushed her into anything is I have seen that type of husband before and don't like it. I would never do that to my wife.
Well we ended up becoming a member to this on premise club. She liked it, is was very nice , good music , great food, attractive people, non pushy environment. My wife was for it. They have a VIP Lounge in the back of the club were they have private rooms , a large play room and lounge area where you can have sex in also.
Now to the event and issue.
Last Wed we went to the on premise club. My wife dressed as provocatively as always. A tight dress with it being opened on the side the type of dress you do not wear panties or bra with. Well we went and were having a good time. Dancing, food , every thing was good. Well I asked he to go to the VIP Lounge and she was for it and said lets go. We sat down on the couch, she was kissing on me and then she started to dance for me . There were a lot of couples around. She started to show her breasts and pussy a lot and was gathering a crowd. She knew this was happened and would happen and did not seem to mind because she kept doing it. Well my eyes were glued to her and so were a lot of other people. Once again she knew and kept on.
Another couple came up to us and asked if they could touch her and I said it was up to her and ask her. They asked her and she agreed and let them start to touch her. Well it progressed further. My wife and I were naked now she only had her sandals on. The other couple started to take off their clothes and my wife did not mind. The man slipped behind my wife and put his cock inside her and started to fuck her. She kept playing with me and the other wife started playing with my wife's breasts. My wife seemed to get more excited. My wife started playing with hers. The other wife started playing with me and I kept it low key I was more involved with my wife and was enjoying watching and paying attention to her. The other wife started playing with my wife again. The other husband turned my wife over and started to fuck my wife hard. The look on my wife's face was that of great pleasure. Well he fucked her for about 10 to 15 minutes and I came by myself the man came in side my wife and the other woman came. At that time after the other man was finished another woman came up and made my wife orgasm with her hand. Well I was surprised and amazed my wife did so much. But Like I said over the past couple months she became more sexually aggressive.
We we finished up and got dressed and cleaned up and decided to leave. I was excited but leaving my wife's demeanor changed to be more subdued and seemed sad. I knew something was up, but did not know what.
We got home cleaned up got ready for bed and she wanted to talk. I said ok she said she did not want to go to couples clubs anymore. I asked her why and she said she just did not want to do this anymore. She said she knew it meant a lot to me and said that if I wanted to continue I could and I could even have sex with another woman. I said that I would not do that and that either we both were in or out. So I agreed that we did not have to go to the clubs any more or see our friends. I was not mad at her or anything. I said I was disappointed and said she knew and I said that what ever she wanted we would do. We went to sleep.
The next morning we got up she was fine no issues or problems. It been a couple days now and she has gone on like nothing has happened. Her attitude seems a little evasive on the issue. I am not trying to push it so I am letting a few days pass to talk to her further.
I don't know what happened she has always seemed to enjoy showing herself and having the attention and now all of a sudden she has done a 180 degree turn. What do you think Happened? I need someone with an objective view.
I have never pushed her on anything on this. She dressed in what she wanted to wear. She played how she wanted to play. Now she does not want to go dancing anymore according to her at he LS clubs.
A couple thoughts of mine are as follows: One is that since she has never been with another man and it scared her or she liked it so much it scared her and she does not want to admit it. Or she was liking the whole LS so much and she was so conservative before that that scared her. Or she just plain did not like it. That is hard for me to believe compared how she has acted in the past.
I would like to continue in the LS but will not continue without my wife who I love very much. Even though she has given me permission to be with another woman I would not do that without my wife. What excites me is us in the LS not me in the LS.
Any ideas or thoughts would be very much appreciated.
I appreciate the in depth description of the issue at hand, and unfortunately our response is not going be quite as detailed. The short version of it is:
Regardless of her reasoning the choice is ultimately hers. You may never know her reason for backing out of the lifestyle. It's not for everyone. Sometimes it only takes one experience to find that out. It may very well be that she enjoyed it and it scared her. It may be that it made her feel like crap which is the case from time to time. Unfortunately most people involved in the LS will not know how going full swap will affect them until they do it.
I do appreciate the sentiment of you saying that you enjoy the LS but will not continue without your wife. We both feel there is a place in the LS for singles, but as a couple you should participate as a couple or not at all.
I would be careful approaching the situation and you may want to allow some time to pass before doing so as it could become extremely volatile depending on her reasoning. For example it is not uncommon for 1 spouse to blame the other for allowing someone to have their way with them. I'm not saying that would happen in your case, but it does happen.
I hope that you do get the answers you are seeking, but many times it does not happen. Good luck in the future and we wish the best to both of you.