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Adult Swinging/marries couple experimented with three way


Hi.My husband and I have been together for 11 years.We both started to get bored and sex came to a grinding hault.He had mentioned in the beginning of our relationship that he was curious about trying a three-way with another woman.I thought well that's most men's dream and we did't realy talk about it again until our dry spell.One night a girlfriend of mine was over.We all had a few drinks and she and I actually started playing around.My husband loved it and he started fooling around with us as well .After that I started feeling guilty, because I had been raised to believe that these things were wrong.But my husband convinced me that this was natural and I shouldn't feel bad.I was able to make  myself feel ok about it.But then my husband started wanting to do it all the time.It made me feel like I wasn't enough for him.He reassured me that I am the only person he wants to be  with he  just likes having fun with me and another woman occasionally to keep things spicey.So we did it two more times.I figured I would feel better about it the more we did it.But I don't!Now I feel like I have given him something he likes and ,if I take it away he won't want to be with me anymore,or that he will stay ,but be miserable.What should I do?should I keep trying to make myself feel ok about it,or tell him that I won't do it anymore and risk ruining our sex life?

Hi Amber,

I am sorry for taking so long to get back to you.

There are a few points to be made here.

1,  You should not have to do things you don't want to in  a marriage.  You tried it and it was not for you.  You just have to tell you husband how you feel.  You tried it for him and it is not something you want to do.

2,  You husband was right, there is nothing for you to feel guilty about.  Exploration is one of those things that makes sex exciting and new.  Threesomes and much more has been going on for as long as we have kept calendars. It is not new.  Anything that you want to do sexually as long as it is consenting adults is perfectly fine.  Give yourself permission to enjoy it.

3,  You might think about other ways to spice things up.  Change up the routines o make it more interesting.  Perhaps you could talk with you husband that instead of threesomes you would like to try different spices.  Then talk about what yu two might enjoy.

Have fun,  

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Tom Blair


Sex coaching. Published author. Questions related to swinging and alternative sexual life styles.


Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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