Question Hi Anita,
My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for approx 5 years. I am 36 and he is 37. We are busy professional parents of 3, so our time is limited when we can "induldge" in our private world. We live in a nice suburban gated community which is great for our children. We recently accquired new neighbors, Joe and Shawna. She is 24 and he is 26. We recently started spending more time with them out in the front yard basically while the guys water the lawn, have a beer or two, etc. They have 2 small kids 10 mo's and 5 yrs old. They are both very attractive and my husband and I have discussed this only with each other. First of all, we dont even know how to bring up the topic to them - dont even know if they know what the "lifestyle" is. Second, if we do get the courage up to do it, how do you approach something like that? They are a military family, just like we used to be - so Scott, I and Joe and Shawna have a lot in common in that regard. Please help, we would really like to get to know them better.
Answer This is a tough question and no mistake. It is indeed a very delicate situation and will require careful handling as you seem to know.
Probably the best way to do it would be for your husband to talk to Joe and you to talk to Shawna. Not to simply blurt things out but to sound them out. Do you watch or read any kind of porn for instance? You might start by having your husband to invite Joe over to look at porn (if you have any). Or you could invite Shawna over.
Perhaps it would be better to invite them both over for dinner with an after-meal movie. Soft porn would be best the first time of a 'straight' movie with some naked people in it.
If you don't have or don't like pornography then bring sex up in causal conversation, maybe things that happened when you and your husband were dating or even when you were dating others. Their reactions to this kind of conversation should tell you whether it is worthwhile to go farther.
Whatever method you finally decide on, take it slow. Talking about sex should give you an idea of their attitudes and thoughts on the matter. Good luck.
