About Jeff & Kris Booth Expertise Singles and swinging, how to get started, what to expect, dealing with jealousy, finding clubs, throwing parties.
Experience 7 years in swinging, involved with planning and presentations for several Lifestyles Conventions, author of Guide to Alternative Lifestyles, and in an article on sexuality.org, the author states we are reputed to hold the best swing parties on the West Coast.
Publications Loving Alternatives magazine, AVN Online magazine, editors of sexinreview.com, eroticguide.com, eroticuniversity.com, and we have been featured on Extra, Leeza, The X Show, Dr. Susan Block Show, KROQ Kevin and Bean show, Rouze.com, and Los Angeles magazine.
Expert: Jeff & Kris Booth Date: 6/19/2004 Subject: Help :)
Question Hello Jeff and Kris,
I am struggling with getting started into swinging. My b/f and I have a terrific sex life, and we are very comfortable and secure in all of our play together. Both, he and I are eager to explore further, together, and with others...there is just one problem...I am so nervous about it, I am AFRAID...of what? I dont know! please help, brenda
Answer If you weren't a little nervous and afraid, I'd be worried. Of course you would be. You are talking about venturing into the unknown in a society that sends you lots of messages that this is wrong, this is not what couples do, there is something wrong with you if you do it and like it, it means there are problems with your relationship, it is immoral, etc., etc., etc. The fact that none of those may be true does not make all of your exposure to those messages go away.
When you first get involved, make a pact between the two of you that if either of you gets uncomfotable and wants to leave, you do- no questions asked and no arguments. You assure each other that they are your number one priority. This is an adventure you experience together.
You will be very nervous at your first party or swing experience. You won't really know what to do or what to expect. That is completely normal. You'll pick up on things pretty quickly, but I would suggest ratcheting down the pressure and set up your first experience with minimal expectations of actually having sex with others. If you decide to go to a club, go there and socialize, meet people, and get comfortable. You can always come back. If you are thinking of introducing another single or couple into a shared sexual experience with you, go out on a sexy flirtatious date with them first without the expectation of sex. Take the time to get comfortable.
People who set their expectations too high when they first get started are often disappointed. If things do go further than you expect (but still by mutual agreement), then it is a pleasant surprise, as it was for our very first time at a club.
Read as much as you can about it. The Lifestyle by Terry Gould is an excellent book, and there are many resources online, including our sexbooth.com
