About Jeff & Kris Booth Expertise Singles and swinging, how to get started, what to expect, dealing with jealousy, finding clubs, throwing parties.
Experience 7 years in swinging, involved with planning and presentations for several Lifestyles Conventions, author of Guide to Alternative Lifestyles, and in an article on sexuality.org, the author states we are reputed to hold the best swing parties on the West Coast.
Publications Loving Alternatives magazine, AVN Online magazine, editors of sexinreview.com, eroticguide.com, eroticuniversity.com, and we have been featured on Extra, Leeza, The X Show, Dr. Susan Block Show, KROQ Kevin and Bean show, Rouze.com, and Los Angeles magazine.
Expert: Jeff & Kris Booth Date: 12/19/2001 Subject: Hi. I was curious as to what...
Question Hi. I was curious as to what the difference is between polyamory and swinging? Thanks.
Answer Good question, and the first time it has been asked. They are both similar, and there is a lot of crossover. Both are forms of consensual non-monogamy between committed couples. Polyamory folks, in general, are looking for deeper connections, often to the point of living with multiple partners. Polyfidelity is a common form of polyamory where you have two lovers and are monogamous with both of them and they with you, or you have a small group in which all of the members only have sex with each other.
In swinging, while there can be very loving relationships that develop, there is less emphasis on love and romance and more emphasis on friendship, and yes, more emphasis on the sexual part. Whereas polyamory people usually only have sex with people they have become quite close to, swingers can and do have sex with casual friends or even brand new friends.
Some swingers practice aspects of polyamory. For example, Kris and I have shared a girlfriend in a romantic loving relationship, and we have had lovers on the side that we had very deep relationships with. For us, though, our primary relationship always comes first.
Polyamory people can have romantic committed relationships where all parties are equal (although that is quite difficult to maintain), but many also have a couple that has a primary relationship that introduces a secondary relationship.
There can be some tension between the two communities (as there is between the bi and gay communities), with some poly people feeling morally superior to swingers because they only have sex in loving somwhat commited relationships with multiple partners, and some in the swing community make fun of the hippy dippy and new age aspects of polyamory.
Even so, the two communities are seperated more by definitions than actions, as many poly people are secretly swingers and many in the swing community do develop very close loving relationships with other than their primary partner.
