About Scotto Expertise I can answer questions ranging from:
People who want to swing but have questions.
People who want to put their toe in the water but don't want to become swingers.
Experience I have participated in numerous swinging situations in the past including moresomes and threesomes including mfm and fmf types.
Publications literotica.com
Education/Credentials Bachelors with some Masters work in business.
Expert: Scotto Date: 10/20/2007 Subject: Involved with a Former Swinger
Question My fiance was involved in the "lifestyle" for a number of years. For him it was NSA sex while for those he swang with, being black, he was a touch of flavor.
We're committed to each other and he knows that I'm NOT OK with it. From early on in our relationship, he gave it up voluntarily stating that he'd made the decision prior to even meeting me. We're currently in a long-distance relationship until one of our home sells so that we can relocate to be together.
I know that he used to be on some websites for this particular activity. Until about a month ago, his profile was turned off. When asked why it was on, it was because he was watching webcams...which is OK with me. The problem is that I have his ID & PW and he doesn't know it. He's adding "friends" daily. Some of the invitations he sends reference "talking" "would love to cam to cam", etc. He's even had an email exchange with a particular woman wanting to be with a black man. It seems to have gone no where as but I can't see where the breakdown was...part of it is that he wouldn't send pictures.
I know this sounds cut and dry, but the doubt enters here. We're both very sexual people; it could be that he's just playing. Heck - I play the exact same way.
The icing on the cake is that I have HSV2 - yes, herpes. He's known about it since well before we were together physically. He says that there is NO WAY he would go back to the lifestyle even if he wasn't with me knowing that he's been exposed.
So, the question is, should I give him a pass or should I assume once a swinger always a swinger? Is the lifestyle so hard to give up?
I should say that we each have children and our relationship isn't just between us, it's between us & our greater families. Everything is perfect, except I'm not so sure he's really ready to give it up. There is a lot hanging in the balance here.
Thanks for your help.
He has been very open about his activities prior to our relationship. I knjow that there are certain websites he was on. For months, his profile was turned off. For the last month or so, he's been back on. When I asked him about it he said that he'd been on just to watch the webcams...which would be OK with me. The issue is, I've got his ID & PW and he doesn't know it. He's been adding "friends" on a daily basis.
Answer Oh ouch ouch ouch on so many levels here. Why don't you set up a profile on some of the sites and ask some very direct questions to see what your fiance's intentions truly are? You already have is username and password but he doesn't know that. He should be okay "giving" it to you if he has nothing to hide.
If you want him to give up playing via cam then you'll have to do the same. Are you prepared to do so?
I don't know how soon you plan on marrying but whenever it is I hope its not immediately and you have a plan and the time to sort through these issues before you have additional issues to work out in a divorce court.
