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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Alternative Relationship Styles > Adult Swinging > Question about swinging as a couple...
Expert: Scotto
Date: 9/18/2007
Subject: Question about swinging as a couple...
Question
Hello, I have a question. My husband and I have been on a swinger web site trying to meet new exciting people to swing with, my husband loves to see me with another man no problem and i have no problem letting him watch me and even joining in with me, but my concern is this I am not very confident about wanting to see him with another woman because so much is running through me head about what will happen after, we have been married for almost 5 strong years and I know that he would never dream of leaving me for another woman, but I just have this fear about what if she is better than me or such things like that. I want to know that if there is any way for me to be more confident about seeing him with another woman? because I feel so bad that I can fulfill his desire to watch me with another man but I don't want his to have sex with another woman...is that wrong? I don't want him to feel like well you can do another man so I can do another woman because of that reason... What should I do?
Answer
First, ask him how badly he wants to be with other women. I'd guess that its not on his "to do" list as much as you think. My wife really doesn't have any desire or tolerance or desire to see me with another woman and she uses the phrase "I don't know whether I could handle that" and I am okay with that. Some men really thrive on the idea of their women with other men and don't need additional stimulation in the form of other women. Here's where your communication will come into play.
Bottom line--its okay. This is a situation where both of you are getting what you want. You have to be okay with his being okay with you having sex in front of him because he gets great pleasure out of it obviously.
Take care and good luck. Let me know what he says please.
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