About Jeff & Kris Booth Expertise Singles and swinging, how to get started, what to expect, dealing with jealousy, finding clubs, throwing parties.
Experience 7 years in swinging, involved with planning and presentations for several Lifestyles Conventions, author of Guide to Alternative Lifestyles, and in an article on sexuality.org, the author states we are reputed to hold the best swing parties on the West Coast.
Publications Loving Alternatives magazine, AVN Online magazine, editors of sexinreview.com, eroticguide.com, eroticuniversity.com, and we have been featured on Extra, Leeza, The X Show, Dr. Susan Block Show, KROQ Kevin and Bean show, Rouze.com, and Los Angeles magazine.
Expert: Jeff & Kris Booth Date: 4/1/2004 Subject: young black couple
Question Thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my questions. My wife and I have recently started to dabble in swinging and we enjoy it but except for a few problems we've had. After attending several private parties in our area of vermont, we've noticed that as a black couple in their late twenties we are somewhat of an oddity. Although we try to be outgoing, we often find ourselves distanced from the rest of the couples. In my own estimation my wife and I are both very attractive and fit but we seem not to quite fit in. The two times we've "gotten lucky" it was with couples who were insitent on playing out the wifes interracial rape/domination fantasy (which I personally didn't mind but my wife soon tired of watching). Later While talking to the couple that invited us to our first party, The husband told me our lack of luck may be to a "no blacks policy" that some swinging couples have. My questions are is this kind of policy common among swingers, and do you know of any ethnically diverse clubs or groups in the Vermont or Virginia area? Thanks
Answer It is disappointing to hear that you are having these difficulties. I always thought that Vermont was more progressive. Here in California, we are so diverse that it is not an issue. Even so, a few years ago here in California I don't think that clubs were as ethnically diverse as they are today, but even then it was more accepting. I suspect that what starts earlier here takes a while to spread, and we have one of the largest ethnic populations in the country.
The North American Swing Club Association, which has many member clubs, has an official no discrimination policy in their by-laws. Clubs that are members (and you can find them on the nasca.com site) have to abide by that policy. Of course, they can't control individual behaviour. I'd contact the clubs directly and ask them how diverse the club is.
I know that there are areas of the country where racism is more prevelant, and these types of attitudes may be more common, but I believe that in general, they are not. My experiences have been more limited to the West Coast, and maybe it is wishful thinking on my part. As a nation, we do still have a long ways to go in this area.
It amazes me personally, as swinging is implicitly about diversity and experiencing a variety of people both socially and sexually. How sad to be so limited in what you are willing to experience.
The interacial rape/domination thing sort of creeps me out. Out here, you guys would have no problems finding interesting and interested couples. I'm sorry that it has been more difficult for you in your part of the country, but maybe it is just a matter of finding the right club. We'd love to hear how it goes and whether this continues to be a problem.
