AboutS. Kessler Expertise I can answer most any question about Adultery. I have experience in dealing with what to expect, how it makes you feel when you find out, etc. My first marriage ended after my "ex" cheated on me. I know how it feels to be cheated on and what you experience while going through adultery. I will answer any of your questions on Adultery to the best of my ability. I have extensive knowledge on this subject. How it not only effect you but your whole family (including the children). I can give you answers on how to deal with it, some of the signs a mate may be cheating, etc. All questions about adultery are welcome.
Expert: S. Kessler Date: 4/8/2008 Subject: Preparing to cheat?
Question My husband has been calling his gorgeous client when I'm away. The weird thing is that those calls are around midnight or later I've noticed. I saw it on the bill. Then he calls me right afterwards it looks like. Maybe to validate to himself that I haven't caught him? He ran RAN outside to talk to her once when I was home and then he deleted the call from his phone and said it was someone else. He lied right to my face. I saw on the bill a few weeks later that it was the client. My hands are shaking, my stomach is a bunch of knots, what do I do? I tried talking to him about it calmly and he says he lied because he knew I'd be jealous. Which I wasn't! I was mad that he LIED to me! What is he up to? I feel like I can't trust him now and I want out. Please help!
Answer Hi Jennifer~
He's sure got something to hide alright, otherwise, he wouldn't be doing the stuff he's doing and acting that way, period. His behavior and actions are simply unacceptable and totally inappropriate. Then you top it all off with him lying to you. He's insulting your very intelligence by lying to you to your face and then expecting you to believe his cock-and-bull stories and lies. What a piece of work he is.
You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. He needs to know exactly how this is affecting you. And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage. If he can't be a man and give you what you want and need in this marriage, then it's time for you to move on with your life w/o him in it.
He's also disrespecting you in lying to you, being secretive and talking to this other woman. He has absolutely no business talking to her that late at night to begin with. Why does he feel the need to lie to you anyway?! Does he have something to hide?; perhaps a guilty conscience?
The bottom line is that he's broken your trust and if he's not cheated with her yet, then he's real close to it. He's not going to behave like that if he didn't have ulterior motives and intentions with this other female. Lying is totally unacceptable and inappropriate in a marriage. If he'll lie about this, what other things is he hiding from you (big or small). He's become untrustworthy, he's proven that to you with these actions.
You now have to decide what you want to do now and what you want out of this marriage and relationship with him. He's either unwilling or unable to give you want you want, need and deserve. And you're now stuck in an unhealthy, unhappy and unfulfilling marriage with him. I'll tell you what he's' up to and that's no good that's for sure.
You need to make that decision on what to do next, then let him know what you're going to do. Maybe it's time to do a trial separation so that you can have some time apart from him. And to decide the next step, which could very well ultimately could be a divorce.
The important thing here is to go with your heart and do what's right for you and what makes you happy. Whatever that is, even if that means you do end up divorcing him, then so be it.
