About David Rhodes Expertise Questions related to adultery, abuse, broken relationships. Counselor since 1991 and I have seen and heard just about every story ever told about adultery. First, there is no such thing as just an "emotional affair". "Forsake all others" should mean something. Secondly, the rebuilding a marriage marred by adultery can be stronger, more loving, and fulfilling than you ever imagined. Happiness and peace can be yours once again.
Experience Counselor since 1991 specializing in marital.
Organizations American Psychological Association
National Christian Counselors Association
Education/Credentials Bachelors - Ashland University, Ashland, Ohio
MBA - Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio
PhD - Freedom Bible College, Rogers, Arkansas (under study)
Past/Present Clients Volunteer in "Marriage" category
Expert: David Rhodes Date: 4/2/2008 Subject: Significant other extremely sneaky with one of his phones
Question My boyfriend is sneaky with his phone, Im not allowed to see it because he needs to keep his "Manhood". He has 2 phones,the iphone i cant see (its locked), probably because he has girls numbers and things that Im not allowed to see. Whenever he's on it in front of me he puts it down and locks it right away so i can't look at it. It hurts me because he knows that it's bothering me, and he acts as if I'm being unfair to HIM.
This has been an issue in the past..with his sidekick phone i wasnt allowed to see that either, and I had reason to be suspicious because i saw him sending pictures of himself to other girls and going into chats.
We're in a serious relationship, we live together and have a 2 year old (by the way I am 21 and he is 24). I am fully committed and so is he, we consider eachother to be husband and wife. Im completely open, he can look at my phone whenever he wants and it doesnt bother me, but I cant look at his. He says that he needs to keep so part of his "Manhood". But I just feel like its unfair. Do you think im being unreasonable? How can I try to get him to let me see the phone, because I dont want to be sneaky about it. This is who I want to be with for the rest of my life, and I want no secrets involved. I don't feel like he's really cheating, i feel as though he's flirting, but hey thats a part of cheating right? I just dont want to find out something in the future thats going to devastate me even more than now.
Answer Irene - using "manhood" as an excuse to keep this from you is silly at best.
A healthy relationship does not have secrets like this.
In short, this is not healthy. It is inappropriate. And you need to flush this out before this relationship goes any further.
