About Brittany Hayes Expertise I can help with questions on cheating, how to catch a cheater, why men cheat, how to forgive or move on from a cheater and if its possible to do so, also questions concerning "the other women".
Experience I have been through almost every situation that could arise and I am still standing strong. I know whats important in life and how to keep on the right track
Expert: Brittany Hayes Date: 4/2/2008 Subject: Significant other extremely sneaky with only one of his phones
Question My boyfriend is sneaky with his phone, Im not allowed to see it because he needs to keep his "Manhood". He has 2 phones,the iphone i cant see (its locked), probably because he has girls numbers and things that Im not allowed to see. Whenever he's on it in front of me he puts it down and locks it right away so i can't look at it. It hurts me because he knows that it's bothering me, and he acts as if I'm being unfair to HIM.
This has been an issue in the past..with his sidekick phone i wasnt allowed to see that either, and I had reason to be suspicious because i saw him sending pictures of himself to other girls and going into chats.
We're in a serious relationship, we live together and have a 2 year old (by the way I am 21 and he is 24). I am fully committed and so is he, we consider eachother to be husband and wife. Im completely open, he can look at my phone whenever he wants and it doesnt bother me, but I cant look at his. He says that he needs to keep so part of his "Manhood". But I just feel like its unfair. Do you think im being unreasonable? How can I try to get him to let me see the phone, because I dont want to be sneaky about it. This is who I want to be with for the rest of my life, and I want no secrets involved. I don't feel like he's really cheating, i feel as though he's flirting, but hey thats a part of cheating right? I just dont want to find out something in the future thats going to devastate me even more than now.
Thanks for taking the time out to read this!
Answer Dear Irene-
I have been through this situation with my husband (he is 26 & I am 24). We have been together 8 yrs. In the beginning he cheated on me A LOT. We had our first son right away. I was like you, very devoted and had no secrets, yet he on the other hand would hide his phone and keep it on vibrate. He said (at that time) he needed some kind of privacy of his own and I was being too nosey. Well come to find out (I would find it and look when he was sleeping, showering, etc-sad but I felt it was necessary to get to the bottom of this so-called privacy issue).I found messages, texts and girls programmed in his phone and yes he had been cheating on me with numerous girls. It was devastating but the truth is better then being played a fool behind your back. Your boyfriend is still young and wants to be with you and so on but it takes time for guys to grow up. Its sad to say but you do need to be aware there is a good possibilty he is cheating on you and you and if so you CAN easily catch an STD if it came to that extreme. ALl I can tell you from the bottom of my heart and through experience is DONT be naive and blind. Dont fall for the reasons he gives you b/c every man is different Irene-but the "game" never changes. Thats the honest truth. I can garauntee you if you did your own investigating without him knowing, you would find he is being very dishonest woth you. You arent being unreasonable in any way about this. A real relationship has NO secrets-you are as one. Think-WHAT would he do if YOU had a "secret" phone and it was off limits?????? Would that be okay? I doubt it. The manhood thing is an excuse for you to back off the phone. YOU DONT deserve to be lied to, disrespected in anyway. You need to get to the bottom of this however you feel necessary. Open your eyes and beware. Life isnt always peachy as it seems and to tell the truth just b/c this is who you love DOESNT mean he wont let you down-the ONLY person who will NEVER let you down-is YOURSELF. I hope this isnt a negative response-i am just being as real as i can be. Good luck & let me know if I can help any further.
