AboutS. Kessler Expertise I can answer most any question about Adultery. I have experience in dealing with what to expect, how it makes you feel when you find out, etc. My first marriage ended after my "ex" cheated on me. I know how it feels to be cheated on and what you experience while going through adultery. I will answer any of your questions on Adultery to the best of my ability. I have extensive knowledge on this subject. How it not only effect you but your whole family (including the children). I can give you answers on how to deal with it, some of the signs a mate may be cheating, etc. All questions about adultery are welcome.
Expert: S. Kessler Date: 5/4/2008 Subject: Dealing with the images
Question Hello Sir, my wife had an affair, how do I deal with the images that I get day in and day out?
Answer Hi Michael~
It's going to take some time for the mental pictures and images to leave your mind. Every once in a while (as time passes) you might suddenly remember them and the hurt and pain that this has caused you. But this is normal to happen.
I would strongly suggest that if possible at all, that you go get some individual counseling for yourself in order to deal with all that the adultery has put you through and done to your senses. Otherwise, it's going to be very hard for you to try to get over and start the healing process.
With seeing a counselor he/she can give you hint, tips and examples of how to get past all the hurt, anger and betrayal this is causing you. All of this is a process that's going to take some time, even quite a long time for you to deal and learn to cope with. It's not an easy thing to go through either. But taking the necessary steps in dealing with all this can certainly help you find closure and healing to an affair.
Give yourself time to grieve, be upset, get over the shock, hurt, betrayal and pain of all that happened. Besides all you can do at this point is take life one day at time and eventually as time goes on it should get a little easier to deal with.
If you can find it in your heart to forgive her for cheating, unless and until you can forgive her for cheating (and by forgiving her, that doesn't mean you excuse the cheating either) then you won't be able to have full and complete closure and be able to move on past all this. The forgiveness part is for you, not the other person. It helps to be able to move forward and heal from all that went on. You don't even have to tell her personally that you forgive her, you just have to forgive within yourself (if that makes any sense whatsoever) to have inner peace and not pent up emotional turmoil and anger that you're holding internally (not a good or healthy thing to do either). At some point you have to be willing to let all of these feelings go to move on.
